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Teen Poetry #8
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With you now
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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With you now |
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Renegade Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22 |
Is anyone going to respond? :'[ Another night goes by Without a trace I wonder why I see your face Inside my head But you are gone Now you are dead Here comes dawn I am fading I am hating I am waiting For you now Days go by Without a trace Here I sigh With no grace I'm very lost And your not on I'm in exhaust Your withdrawn I am fading I am hating I am waiting For you now Please help me I'm on the line Light i see I am dyin' It is my fault I can sense That you are dead I am tense I am dyin' I am cold I am achin' I am cold I am gone I see you now Now its done I'm with you now [This message has been edited by Renegade (10-21-2006 10:27 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Renegade - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Renegade, Welcome to the teen forum of passions! This is a wonderful first post to start with. I loved this poem and the way it flowed; the words just rolled off your tongue into another word, it was very well done. Thanks you so much for sharing this sad but very beautiful piece. I hope to read more from you in the near future  "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
It kind of makes me not want to reply when the subject is plz read plz, not only is it a cry out, it is annoying online talk. Some advice:try using catchy titles, then people will read. "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I do agree with patience on the title thing but there are allowances because you are new here. I would go with what was suggested on finding a catchy title but remember just because you don't get a reply right off doesn't mean you won't later. Sometimes it takes a couple days for a reply, usually within the day you get one but remember the time differences is sometimes huge and we don't always get on every single hour. Cheers "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I am gone I see you now Now its done I'm with you now nice ending and WELCOME TO PIP i thought this was a very nice poem. hope to read more from you soon... hunnie*  ps going into my library A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Yeah, we all are from different time zones, i m from the U.S but and in italy, and most everyone else is from different parts of the states, and we hav someone from Australia. I really liked this. It was raw emotion but well formed. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Welcome to Passions!!!!!!!!!  You may burn my flag... only after you wrap yourself in it first. www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet |
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