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forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

0 posted 2006-10-20 01:37 AM

i just want to know why i dont belong,
why everyone just pressumes that im already wrong,
when all i do everyday is simply be myself,
isn't that whats supposed to change things, to help?
they say act yourself, people will like you for you,
but I've figured out that that isn't true.
certain people here, mix with certain people there,
the ones that have enough in common, to not let anyone interfere.
i suppose there arent people for me like that here,
but maybe they can't see me in this crowd, should i go where its clear?
and wait for them, even for just one?
will i stay still forver, until my life is done?
no, not all i'll be on my way.
for i should like to meet them where we both like to stay.
its the only way to meet who would enjoy my company,
the only one that will love me for ME.

~me.

--ok, i dont like this one very much, but I haven't posted in a while, so i thought i would put it up...

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

1 posted 2006-10-20 04:16 AM

honestly it doesnt get better lol sad to say it but it doesnt. i think college may be worse! lol
well i like the flow and in a few places the rhyming is a little forced but not too bad. i like the rythem as well
thanks for the post.
Laura

1 Timothy 4:12

aol sn- tearsoflove13762

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2006-10-20 10:34 AM

I loved this , so good. I can so relate right now, it is going on for these girls in my class so much. And somewhat for me.

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

3 posted 2006-10-20 01:55 PM

hey hey..
ok, my only problemo with this[and i really shouldnt have one its great i promise!] is that it was hard to read..you need to seperate it into paragraphs, cause i lost my place a few times but thats just me!
annd, the flow was awesome..but, it seemed a little forced, you can split up the lines a bit and cut out some stuff and it would still be great! never try & force the flow! you are a great poet as it is and nothing changes that, so im gonna just shut up now!oh, i forgot to say my favorite part! its:
and wait for them, even for just one?
will i stay still forver, until my life is done?
i just really can relate and those are such awesome lines i think..
thanks for sharing,
-missy

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

4 posted 2006-10-20 02:22 PM

thanx you guys, nice to here what yall think! = )

and ya, i was thinking the same thing when i wrote it, but i couldn't figure out how to do that...i'll try to tho...
thanx again! :0)
~me

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