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Teen Poetry #8
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idntcareifudntcare
Junior Member
since 2006-10-18
Posts 18
BC, Canada

0 posted 2006-10-19 05:00 PM


Loneliness
by: me

"see that girl, shes lucky"
thats what I heard them say
They dont know inside she's lonely
and wants to get rid of this day.

She has tons of friends around her
together they whine and sigh
but Loneliness still took over.
She wants to say goodbye.

xxx

© Copyright 2006 Maria - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2006-10-19 05:38 PM


I liked this. Short and simple and clear. I can so relate also. Very good write. One of the better I have seen you write.

Some of the rhyming semmed forced though

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2006-10-20 12:00 PM


i also liked this... wonderful.
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

Renegade
Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22

3 posted 2006-10-21 05:23 PM


Powerful, simple, clear
The words were sown together perfectly
i loved the poem

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