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Teen Poetry #8
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*wishfull*thinking*
Junior Member
since 2006-09-03
Posts 33
north east of england

0 posted 2006-10-18 02:45 PM


You said you loved me,
But you were going to break my heart,
You said you would love me forever,
So why are we apart?
If you really ment forever,
Then say you will try,
Cause you once said forever,
And that made me cry

i know what I’ve been missing
All the time I was missing you
I know who I should be kissing
And I know you know that too


Cause all we know is falling, it falls.
Remember how, cause I know that we won't forget at all.

So this is how it goes
Well I, I would have never

© Copyright 2006 -x-dani-x- - All Rights Reserved
pip_man
Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70
Canada
1 posted 2006-10-18 03:07 PM


I loved this poem! I can definitally relate. Great write! Hope to see more!

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
2 posted 2006-10-18 03:49 PM


aw, short and sad! woah..i can't really think of anything to critique..so ya..
i defiantly love the last paragraph best:
i know what I’ve been missing
All the time I was missing you
I know who I should be kissing
And I know you know that too

that has so much emotion in such simple words! good write=]

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
3 posted 2006-10-18 04:25 PM


Simple and clear.Very nice. It was complicated in the feelings but simple in how it was told. I felt like I was right there with you.
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2006-10-19 11:44 PM


i know what I’ve been missing
All the time I was missing you
I know who I should be kissing
And I know you know that too,

this definatly summed up the poem nicely it was short and sweet, and had a lot of emotion, been there done that very nice and tx for sharing...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace   ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

*wishfull*thinking*
Junior Member
since 2006-09-03
Posts 33
north east of england
5 posted 2006-11-04 03:17 PM


glad you liked it lol x

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound,
I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms

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