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Teen Poetry #8
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Dancing in the Rain
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Dancing in the Rain |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
I came down the stairs a little anxiously, Wondering if I looked good that night. But I saw you, and your mouth dropped open, That answer was definitely right. We sat still for pictures, Told my parents good-bye. There was a frown on Dad’s face, And tears in Mom’s eyes. We drove to the restaurant, Talking and laughing, suspecting nothing at all. And just before we got out of the car, A light, harmless rain started to fall. We went into the quiet place to eat, Ended the meal with a steamy kiss. And halfway to where the dance would be held, Something under the hood started to hiss. You got out, took a look around, Got back in and said “We’re screwed.” I just laughed and held your wet hand, And said “Somehow we’ll make it through.” We went and tried to undo the damage, But we probably just made more. Suddenly you stopped, took my hand and said, “Darlin’, I think we’ve got us a dance floor.” You swept me into your arms, As we danced across the street. And you sang softly into my ear A song you wrote for me. Holding each other close, Smiling as we danced across two lanes, We never did make it to Homecoming, But much preferred dancing in the rain. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kelsey Dianne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
This was really beautiful! |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
Okay, i think this is an AMAZING piece. Like, alot. its soooo cute. at first i wasnt too too sure where it was all going but in the end i found that it all fit together perfectly. the flow was good, and it held my attention! which is good lol cuz i have the atention span of a 2 year old!! But yeah. awesome job! |
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Danielle Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 80Providence, RI, USA |
reminded me of being in high school. nice write |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
This is such a beautiful poem, the ending was just delightful.  ~Alli~ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
this was absolutly beautiful i loved this it was so sweet... beautifully writeen and it had a very nice flow. hunnie*  going in my library. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
ok, im absolutely..IN LOVE WITH THIS POEM!! omg, i can say this is defiantly my favorite poem ever by you! im sorry i just can't say enough to express how much i love this! ah! its defiantly amazing! i think i wanna print it off and put it on my door! BRAVO WATERFAIRY! my favorite stanza was the last one Holding each other close, Smiling as we danced across two lanes, We never did make it to Homecoming, But much preferred dancing in the rain. but ok, i loved all of them! woah.., its awesome=) ~missy |
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pencil&paper Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76asleep somewhere in my head |
it was beautiful and very sweet "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
I liked how it's a story not my favorite by you but still very cute. Reminds me of when a guy asked me to dance in his driveway under the stars. Isn't it funny how the simplest things are the sweetest things? Great capturing of that, keep it up!AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
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