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Teen Poetry #8
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Tired Eyes
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Tired Eyes |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
Every morning she wakes up, takes a shower, goes to school. She's a smart girl, A's in every class, and she's well-liked, too. You could ask anyone in that big school, girls think she's smart, guys think she's hot. The teachers gush, her parents love her, from all acouts, she's headed for the top. But there are little things that they don't see, like the bloody lip torn apart by picking fingers, or the exhausted shuffle to get to class, or her tired eyes where a shadow lingers. Those tired, beautiful eyes, where all her biggest secret lies hidden. The secrets of those awful thoughts, that come in the night, unbidden. They're thoughts of him, the cheating liar, as she cries herself to sleep at night. She's not really mourning his worthless hide, she's mourning something precious and bright. She was such a naive girl that summer, with happy eyes anda wide, quick grin. He was a bad boy, a motorcycle buff, and with her he knew just how to get in. He asked her out, she said yes the third time. Just a couple of movies, a copule of dates, she was putty in his hands. Then he came by he rhouse, way too late. She thought hewas in love with her, he knew she loved him. So she gave him the only thing she had, And the next morning, she was no longer a virgin. He used her like that a few more times, then he stopped calling, giving her rides. That autumn he left without looking back, as she watched on with those tired eyes. Those tired, beautiful eyes, where all her biggest secret lies hidden. The secrets of those awful thoughts, that come in the night, unbidden. When I stopped trying find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kelsey Dianne - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
wow i loved this it had a beautiful story. also very sad though i hate guys that do that i think they are a waste of air. but great write... hunnie*  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
hunnie_girl is so right! Beautiful story! But it is so sad. Known too many guys like that!!! (They can all take a long walk off a short ciff) Great job! Hugs and Hershey bars! |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Wow. Just wow. I thought the poem told the story so well, great job with it! It's sad though that there are so many guys out there like that. Keep sharing!  ~Alli~ |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
ok, i dont know what it is about you, but you are like--one of my favorite poets on here! no matter what you are writing about, its just perfect! saddness, happiness, tears, joy, smiles..ah, its always just so perfect! my favorite stanza She thought hewas in love with her, he knew she loved him. So she gave him the only thing she had, And the next morning, she was no longer a virgin. i can relate to this so i guess thats why..i just can totally feel how you're saying this w/o having to hear you..its weird..and it feels like you are writing a story about me but its not about me..i guess thats why you are an amazing poet, you can write a poem about you or a friend or anyone i guess, and it can actually make other people feel like you're talking about them..its just...amazing..there really isn't words to describe it! you defiantly have an awesome talent=] the only thing i actually have to critique:next time watch how fast you're typing, make sure your words are spelled correctly, spaced, etc..but thats about the dumbest critique ever so ya! anyway, great write=] ~missy |
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