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Teen Poetry #8

Enough of you

baby_gurl908
Junior Member

since 2006-08-22

Posts 15

0 posted 2006-10-04 05:44 PM

Black and blue

      Broken and torn

The only reason im still around is cause tht baby of ours.

Beaten and scared

       Heart broken and crying those tears

I told you it was over and that i was done, I dont love you the way you thought i did.

Bruises and cuts

        wouns and scares

Are what you give me when i told you i dont love you anymore and i was going to leave.

Time to let you win??

        Time to give up??

To disapear from the world once again??

I dont think so,Im not going to hide myself from the world, again for you.

I really do love him not you! Your not a man if you hit me and call me names, If you loved me you wouldnt do this to me...

   DONT YOU THINK U HURT ME ENOUGH, AS IT IS??

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-10-04 05:55 PM

Hi baby_gurl908,

I hope this isn't actually happening to you! It's not right for people to do this sort of thing to others...

I did like how the words flowed in this poem. How, when you read this, each word kind of rolls off your tongue into the next.

Thanks for sharing!

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->---

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2006-10-05 04:59 PM

I liked the rythmn of it but there is alot of grammar and spelling here, try editing it for that and it will go a bit better.

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