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Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-10-03 01:51 PM

weathered and aged
by a thousand storms of old
the sentenials stand gaurd
watching with eyes so cold

they never move
but none do dare
to cross the path
of thier age old stare

legends of legends
oldest of old
lost forever
their story
never to be told

their age is lost
along with their memorie
but their eyes still burn
with consistent intensity

like all things
they will inevitably fade in time
but for now they still stand
through the rain and rhyme

nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

1 posted 2006-10-03 02:16 PM

"their age is lost
along with their memorie
but their eyes still burn
with consistent intensity"

Loved this part. A few spelling errors, but over all it was good.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2006-10-03 04:25 PM

Wow, haven't seen you in awhile so welcome back. The best `i have seen of you `i think. Spelling and punctuation could use work. I could totally picture that, soo good.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-10-03 11:50 PM

like i said before good to have you back and great poem it had a beautiful flow and... was very emotional

like all things
they will inevitably fade in time
but for now they still stand
through the rain and rhyme

well... it summed it up really nicely.
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

4 posted 2006-10-04 12:51 PM

Hi Tempest,

WElcome back again!! It's been a long time and I've missed reading your poems...

Okay, well, I'm going to be the bad egg on this one. I liked the poem but I felt like it wasn't one of your bests. It didn't have the usual, umm, punch? as your other poems do. That could just be me though...

"but their eyes still burn
with consistent intensity"

I loved these two little lines though! Along with the rest of the poem of course, but these lines create pictures in my mind that add so much to the poem.

Thanks for sharing! I hope you'll stick around for awhile

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->---

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