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Teen Poetry #8
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NCCXC86
Junior Member
since 2006-09-25
Posts 18
Michigan

0 posted 2006-10-01 11:47 PM


Out now into the wide world
Breathing in the fresh air
Feeling my heart beat within my chest
Tasting the adrenaline, tasting life
I am a feather in the breeze
I go where the wind takes me
Where to now?

Out now into my life
My own decisions, my own person
I am what I make myself
Tomorrow may bring great things
I am a feather in the breeze
I go where the wind takes me
Where to now?

Out now of the depths of my heart
Feeling the vastness of it all
I need a companion, someone to fly with
Someone catch me before I fall
I am a feather in the breeze
I go where the wind takes me
Where to now?

Out now into my bright future
Destiny will blow me away
I’m along for the wild ride
Let’s see where this wind goes
I am a feather in the breeze
I go where the wind takes me
Where to now?


© Copyright 2006 Francis M. Martin - All Rights Reserved
forever*wishing
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178
where my heart is
1 posted 2006-10-02 12:41 PM


i like this one...although it does get a little repetative...it was very good...nice. = )
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-10-02 12:49 PM


"Out now of the depths of my heart
Feeling the vastness of it all
I need a companion, someone to fly with
Someone catch me before I fall
I am a feather in the breeze
I go where the wind takes me"


I like this part a lot! The comparison of yourself to a feather was neat, or so I thought.

I must agree though, the repetitiveness does get kind of annoying after awhile, no offence...

Thanks for sharing!

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2006-10-02 10:55 PM


"I am a feather in the breeze
I go where the wind takes me
Where to now?"


I loved those lines.  While I don't find the repitiveness annoying, I think you could improve the poem by changing the word feather in each stanza, for example, to give the lines a fresh feel each stanza.

Did that suggestion even make sense, lol?  I'm like half asleep, so don't mind my insanity.

Keep sharing!

~Alli~

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