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Teen Poetry #8
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tearsoflove13762
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

0 posted 2006-09-30 04:17 AM


When I walk into a room that you are in,
a huge smile erupts from my face.

When I look into your eyes,
my soul burns with desire.

When your hand caresses my stomache,
my body shivers in extacy.

When I take my long drive home,
I feel like I am high on who knows what!

When I think about how long we have know each other,
I cannot believe it took us this long to actually date.

*___*

so this isnt good at all its just how i feel and im just writing compulsively! on the drive home i had a poem written out and good... but i forgot by the time i thought about typing it in

© Copyright 2006 Laura Risner - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-09-30 12:02 PM


Hi tearsoflove13762,

So, I don't think this is one of your best but I like the simple way in which it tells us how you are feeling. It's beautiful because I think that everyone will be able to relate to this one, at some point in their lives.

The first two lines are the ones I can relate to most, so, I'd have to say those would be my favorite...

Thanks for sharing this piece, it's been awhile since I've seen your stuff and I've missed it

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
2 posted 2006-09-30 06:46 PM


LAURA!  Yay, you're back and posting again!  It's great to see you, nice job with the poem, I enjoyed it.

~Alli~

tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
3 posted 2006-10-01 03:10 PM


Not one of my favorites by you but it's still good! I can relate to this one with my ex...that's how I felt when we were together...

I hate when i think of something, like, brilliant, and the minute i go to type/write it, i forget it. lol that's very frustrating! Hope to see more soon!

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

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