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nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

0 posted 2006-09-28 02:48 PM

~~~It's nothing like my other stuff, but give it a read anyways. It kept poking me in the head and made me write it. =)~~~

Silently, she slips past the camera
She has waited for so long
To be free
To be happy
And to regain her long lost life

Pictures flash in her mind
Memories of the girl she once was
A mother
A father
And a peaceful, long lost life

Still she remembers the day the took her
They said she was insane
One suicide atempt
One illusion of madness
And she let go of her long lost life

In anger she shakes her head
They never understood
Just a girl
Just in pain
And yearning for her long lost life

Her conscience tells her to go back
In vain she ignores it
You're mental
You're a danger to yourself
And just forget your long lost life

Bitterly, she lets out a laugh
Continuing on her way
Not insane
Not phsychotic
And she'll regain her long lost life

pip_man
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 70
Canada

1 posted 2006-09-28 03:25 PM

I thought this was an amazing poem. It had a lot of emotion (which made it great) and I think it had good flow. Great write! Hope to see more!

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2006-09-28 06:03 PM

Different , but rather good. Long lost life I think would be a more fitting title to this poem though.

pencil&paper
Member

since 2006-09-09

Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head

3 posted 2006-09-28 08:31 PM

i agree good poem and it is different but in a good way

PS:great use of emotion in the poem too

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

4 posted 2006-09-29 12:15 PM

Well, I like it BECAUSE it is different. I think the differences give this poem an edge over all the others because it doesn't run along the same general lines, which, at times, become rather boring.

Nice work pride

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
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