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Teen Poetry #8

how you loved me

baby_gurl908
Junior Member

since 2006-08-22

Posts 15

0 posted 2006-09-26 05:46 PM

You always come running back to me
as if it were TRUELY ment to be,
silly LIES buryed beanth what
was never said, stupid MISTAKES
never corrected, FIGHTING over
little things that never fully
made any scene.... but WANTING
each other every momment were
apart, things never fully
UNDERSTOOD....Now the
BEDROOMS painted purple, the
covers WHITE and so fluffy,
pictures of US everywhere in
BLACK and WHITE, rose peatles
and mirrors everywhere....
if this aint love there something
WRONG.........

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-09-26 06:08 PM

Welcome to PIP , do not think I have seen you before.

This poem could use alot of editing, grammar,spelling,etc.. Could you please check it over for all that, including punctuation, then I will be happy to read it again and tell you what I though. From what I could get, it seemed full of emotion, and a nice write.

A little bit confusing though with the grammar and punctuation and such.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2006-09-27 11:24 PM

yea the grammar was a little harder to understand the poem but overall i liked it it was a little comfusing for me but it made sense i know that doesn't make any sense but yea anyway i don't think i have seen any poems by you but i might have anyway WELCOME TO PASSIONS:... i'll look to read more by you...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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