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Teen Poetry #8
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then it's gone
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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then it's gone |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
you keep saying you'll come back to me, everytime you have to go, and i always wonder when that'll be, because with you i'll never know, you love's like the distant chatter, can't see it but you know it's there, you keep acting like it doesn't matter, when i ask where you've been you say nowhere, every noe and then you get the notion, to sleeping around i hope when your done you'll see, it's nothing like the sweet devotion, i always thought you had for me, your love's like flames in the ocean, burning our before it can rise, i can see all your emotion, giving up; it slowly dies, and then it's gone A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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| © Copyright 2006 Krysti - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sarka Junior Member
since 2006-09-21
Posts 23Canada |
I enjoyed how the poem flows. Had to re read a bit cause of the spelling. You have a wonderful talent. ~If we didn't have any bad days, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones~ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi hunnie, I liked the poem a lot! Except I did find the spelling/grammar errors to be a little bit bothersome... "you love's like the distant chatter, can't see it but you know it's there" I found the metaphor in this to be a wonderful idea. I hadn't thought of something like this in terms of "distant chatter". When I read this it makes sense though, I found it to be rather interesting. Thanks for sharing this piece  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
tx for your replies hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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