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Teen Poetry #8

Remember When

Sarka
Junior Member

since 2006-09-21

Posts 23
Canada

0 posted 2006-09-21 11:26 PM

Remember when we were young and free?
I loved you and you loved me.

We would walk together hand in hand
Sometimes barefoot in the sand.

We would hold each other every night
I remember thinking everythings right

I gave you everything my heart and my soul
I never thought that you could be so cold

Now my heart is tattered and torn
My life has become so forlorne

I thought our love would last forever
I didn't think of this. Never ever

~If we didn't have any bad days, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones~

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2006-09-22 01:02 AM

We would walk together hand in hand
Sometimes barefoot in the sand.

this was my favorite stanza i thought it had a nice flow and the two lines just fit together perfectly. i thought more could be added to this poem the last stanza is a good end but you could add more to it. and again WELCOME TO PASSIONS... and the more you comment to other poems the more replies you might get... can't wait for your next post

...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

2 posted 2006-09-22 11:39 AM

woah, you are a really really really great poet! i loved this! i have to agree with hunnie, i loved that stanza too=)

and yes, WeLcOmE tO pAsSiOnS!!!

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

krazy 4 her
Junior Member

since 2006-09-14

Posts 38
Your parent's front porch