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Teen Poetry #8
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hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2006-09-17 11:45 PM


you finally opened your eyes,
it's about time you realized,
i can't live like this anymore,
you finally told him, "i'll show you to the door.",

he keeps throwing stuff in your face,
at a mean and steady pace,
things about me i never told you,
thing i've done i wish you never knew,

he says he's leaving and soon he will,
he hasn't left yet, he's still here,
one day i'll get revenge for what he's done,
he can't hide he can only run,

the cops will be after him in time,
he can try but there's no use lying,
i can keep what he did he's done a secret from everyone,
but i'm sick of admitting he won,
again.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

© Copyright 2006 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
Sarka
Junior Member
since 2006-09-21
Posts 23
Canada
1 posted 2006-10-01 09:03 PM


Very interesting poem.  Stay strong and true to yourself.

"i can keep what he did he's done a secret from everyone,"  This part threw me off a bit.

Sarka

~If we didn't have any bad days, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones~

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-10-02 01:13 AM


Hi hunnie,

I have a pretty good idea on what this poem is about but I'd like to hear what you wrote it about to make sure I'm not far off?

The lines mentioned above by sarka(?) didn't throw me off, except I think that a comma or something could be used in that line or splitting, if you know what I mean? I could be wrong though...

I liked this one, for me, it was a little vauge on who you were talking with but I liked that. It keeps someone in the background, kind of mysterious. That might not make sense to anyone but me...

Thanks for sharing this piece, I found it to be an enjoyable read

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino            @-->---

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