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Teen Poetry #8
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nostalgic*pride
Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122
NowhereVille

0 posted 2006-09-13 03:43 PM


I can't believe you would say that
That I'm the reason for your pain
The reason you can't keep a job
And our ceiling leaks when it rains

How dare you entertain that it was my fault
That every boyfriend's a jerk
After all we've suffered through
Trying to make this work

Well, screw that, Mom
I was the one that gave you a hand
When everyone else walked away
I at least tried to understand

Oh, Hell no, I am NOTHING like my father
The man walked away when things got tough
I've been here all along
Without me, you'd be jack oughta luck

Yeah, your parents hate you
None of your brothers care
But haven't you noticed
That I've always been there

So just think about this
As you dish your next blow
We both felt the same pain
But I was left alone

© Copyright 2006 Haley May - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2006-09-13 03:55 PM


one of my fav. writes by you i think. very amazing. alot of emotion it it. sounded very true. cant think of any praise worthy of ur poem,its sooo goood
loveislove
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59
USA
2 posted 2006-09-13 04:20 PM


wow it is really good, it seems very emotional, very thoughtful. I personally loved it, and the meaning behind it. bravo

then theres the moment of silence, the eye of the storm, when the whole world collapses, i want to be in your arms

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

3 posted 2006-09-13 05:09 PM


this is really good.  really intense- like really good.
if this actually goes on then i'm sooo sorry. t hat would suck so badly.
as for this poem though, I thought the flow was really good, the emotion was deep and amazing, and the form was awesome.  good job!

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-09-13 05:45 PM


Omgosh! Talk about an intense read! I hope this isn't happening to you for real...

I liked the emotions in this poem a lot; The feeling of outrage and sadness was a strong influence in how much I liked the poem.

"We both felt the same pain
But I was left alone"


My favorite part^^ It takes a minute to comprehend what you are saying, but after you think about it, it makes sense, it's true. I just loved how you phrased it like that.

Thanks for sharing this poem!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

nostalgic*pride
Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122
NowhereVille
5 posted 2006-09-13 08:33 PM


Ha, I had to rewrite this poem a trillion and a half times because of all the cursing in the original one.

And, as to all of your, "I hope this isn't really going on"s... well, it sorta is. Just dramatized.

Thanks to all of you. stargal, you always leave awesome comments, you rock.

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
6 posted 2006-09-14 01:30 AM


wow it sux but i can acually relate to this i loved this very emotional write... another fav for me...
luv from hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

deceitful_siren
Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 20
USA
7 posted 2006-09-14 09:41 AM


*Gets offended at last part* Not true. Poser.

Besides that, I liked this. Yet another reason that you are cooler than me. HA, AS IF!! Lol...

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
8 posted 2006-09-14 06:11 PM


Oh, wow, very emotional poem you've written here.  The poem itself is very well written, I'm just sorry to hear that this is happening to you in real life, even if it isn't as bad as you've written it.  If you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know.

~Alli~

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