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Teen Poetry #8
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| Teen Poetry #8 |
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You |
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xox.ice.cream.lover.xox Junior Member
since 2006-01-07
Posts 20Canada |
When my days are grey, You were there... When my days are sad You always cared... When I felt so blue, You pulled me through When it hurt so bad, You always healed my wounds The skies were dark But you chased away the storm Every touch was cold Until you held me in your arms When my heart flew so high, It was all because of you And whenever your skies are grey... I'll be here for you too. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Sabrina R. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pip_man Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70Canada |
I thought this was an amazing poem, but if i could offer a bit of advice it would be to re-read the first 2 stanzas because the tenses are a little off. You have "When my days are grey, You were there" Where as I would put: "When my days were grey, You were there" |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Nice write Sabrina! While I agree with pip_man about some of the tenses being a little off, I think this is just a delightful, sweet poem to read. Thanks for sharing!  ~Alli~ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i agree with pip_man this poem seemed written in the past tense so you should change that word but it was great  hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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