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Teen Poetry #8
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pencil&paper
Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head

0 posted 2006-09-09 03:11 PM


Life sucks
Wanna bet?
Yours may not but mine does
Why?
Because
I'm crammed in a place
With no space
That's all I want
Is that to much to ask?
If it is I don't care
I feel like everyone stares
At who?
Guess
My life's a gigantic mess
I just want space
But they're all in my face

What should i do?
Why am I asking you?
You don't listen
Because you don't care
What,now you're gonna stare
Suprise, suprise
I'm all by myself
And you won't even help
You know what?
That's just like you
You're never there,
You don't care
So you know what?
Back off
Get outta my face
'Cause I need my space


© Copyright 2006 pencil&paper - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-09-09 09:17 PM


lolz, I liked the attitude in this poem a lot! A kind of "help me or get out of my way" sort of feel to it. Standing up for your rights kind of poem, in a way...

It was an enjoyable read for me. The poem is something I can relate to in many ways.

Thanks for sharing!

PS- Pen&Paper = pencil&paper?

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513

2 posted 2006-09-09 09:59 PM


u kno who i am
u know who i be
Knock, knock knock,
Guess what?
It's ME!!!

see ya later candles!

i'm gonna start callin u that

pencil&paper
Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head
3 posted 2006-09-10 02:12 AM


thanks for the reviews peoples

stargal that's exactly what i was going for i just couldn't think of the right words
(you know what i mean?)  

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2006-09-10 11:23 PM


I agree with what Stargirl has said.  I loved the "attitude" on this poem.  Excellent job.

~Alli~

Shaddow1
Junior Member
since 2006-09-04
Posts 41
Kingman Az, USA
5 posted 2006-09-11 12:35 PM


Lol guess I am joining the crown I love the additude as well. I just have one quetion. Who are you aiming the poem at? If it were me I would have to say that parentals. lol
I like it none the less. Kudos

Love is like a Rose; it always dies - Britney Miller

pencil&paper
Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head
6 posted 2006-09-13 08:19 PM


yeah this poem was kinda aimed at one or both of my parents....ssshhhhh! don't tell them though

oh and thanks for the reviews you guys are so nice

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
7 posted 2006-09-15 11:18 PM


wow that was nice...attitude luved it haha... pen&paper and pencil&paper are they the same pple or different? mmkay...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
8 posted 2006-09-16 05:20 PM


yeah i wanna know also, pen and paper and pencil and paper have kinda diff styles of writing though so i dunno.

good poem, i like the additude also. good write

pencil&paper
Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head
9 posted 2006-09-16 09:08 PM


i think i said this in my other poem(not sure)but pen&paper and i are different ppl but she is one of my best friends so i made my pen name pencil&paper so we would kinda be connected
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
10 posted 2006-09-18 10:03 PM


ohhhhhhhhh i see okay yea you both do have diff. styles so cool haha and again i liked this poem:P ...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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