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Passions in Poetry

Pain

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hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


0 posted 09-06-2006 07:34 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for hunnie_girl


the walls are too thin,
too not hear the arguing again,

it's happening more eveyday,
i try so hard to stay away,

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be,

if i left you'd turn me aside,
and in your mind it's like i died,

the word pills seems comforting to see,
a bottle of sleep sounds good to me,

but suicide has never been a good thought,
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

© Copyright 2006 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 03-06-2006
Posts 1350
OR USA


1 posted 09-07-2006 08:57 AM       View Profile for stargal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stargal

This is my favorite part in the whole poem!!

>>"the walls are too thin,
too not hear the arguing again,
it's happening more eveyday,
i try so hard to stay away,
maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be,
if i left you'd turn me aside,
and in your mind it's like i died,
the word pills seems comforting to see,
a bottle of sleep sounds good to me,
but suicide has never been a good thought,
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not."
- lol... I loved the whole poem as it is, there is nothing I would change. I think that this is my favorite one, of yours, that I've ever seen! Going in my library...

Thanks for sharing!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

pencil&paper
Member
since 09-09-2006
Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head


2 posted 09-10-2006 04:25 PM       View Profile for pencil&paper   Email pencil&paper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pencil&paper

wow... i really liked this poem

as for a favorite part i don't have because i loved the whole thing
hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


3 posted 09-12-2006 12:19 AM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

ohhhhhhhhh tx! stargal and pencil&paper
hunnie*


A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.
heysexy
New Member
since 09-18-2006
Posts 5
lumby


4 posted 09-21-2006 09:57 PM       View Profile for heysexy   Email heysexy   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for heysexy

i can totally realte to this one
Brittany
Junior Member
since 09-26-2006
Posts 32
Canada


5 posted 09-28-2006 05:21 PM       View Profile for Brittany   Email Brittany   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brittany

Wow, I can really relate to this one, it's good. You're awesome and i really cant think of anything i woudl change to make it better.

~Life Ain't Always Beautiful~

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


6 posted 09-28-2006 06:00 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

Now I am going to feel all guilty because now i do have some minor critticsm to this very nicely written poem.


OK,

the walls are too thin,  (like the idea)
too not hear the arguing again, (its to, not too, also nice line)

it's happening more eveyday(.) (what is exactly happening)
i try so hard to stay away(.)

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be(.) (so why stay?)

if (I) left you'd turn me aside,
and in your mind it's like i died,  (very good couplet.)

the word pills seems comforting to see,(bit of punctuation needed here.)
a bottle of sleep sounds good to me(.) (bottle of sleep, very creative, loved that description)

but suicide has never been a good thought,(yay, then I wouldn't get to read your awesome poems)
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not.( it may just be me cause I have a mini bug, but WHAT?? didn't get that last line at all.)

Well written for the most part, but a couple of places need to have the right punctuation. That was  a bit confusing there.
Shake
Junior Member
since 11-17-2006
Posts 40


7 posted 11-12-2007 12:26 PM       View Profile for Shake   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shake

Wow... the emotion in this was great!
I can tell you put your heart into this one, I love it! Really I wouldnt change a thing, going to library!

Gods and Demons,
Keys, Lyrics, and Vocals
~Shake

BrittanyJ
Member
since 06-03-2007
Posts 460
Come find me?


8 posted 11-12-2007 08:26 PM       View Profile for BrittanyJ   Email BrittanyJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BrittanyJ

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be,

Ahh, hunnie...always have loved your work Another wonderful poem, you blow me away!!!

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


9 posted 11-12-2007 10:23 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
fromme2U
Member
since 11-09-2007
Posts 258


10 posted 11-13-2007 05:42 PM       View Profile for fromme2U   Email fromme2U   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fromme2U

wow this was nice!
charlie18
New Member
since 11-14-2007
Posts 8
Washington, United States


11 posted 11-14-2007 12:22 AM       View Profile for charlie18   Email charlie18   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for charlie18

this was really nice.
your a great poet.
i hope things are going better now.
hunnie_girl
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since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


12 posted 11-14-2007 01:45 AM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

wow.. umm better now fore sure i never expected to see this poem on the front pages again:P this is one of my oldies thank you all for replying
Krysti
comoloco7
Junior Member
since 09-21-2007
Posts 31
MA


13 posted 11-14-2007 06:15 AM       View Profile for comoloco7   Email comoloco7   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for comoloco7

This poem shows pain and hope all wrapped up in a neat package.  Keep it up.  Its always nice to read your work.

In the blood soaked battle field, bleach the bones of countless millions who in the midst of victory stopped to rest, and resting they died.

KandyGrl511
Member
since 11-30-2008
Posts 52
Michigan


14 posted 12-02-2008 07:26 PM       View Profile for KandyGrl511   Email KandyGrl511   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for KandyGrl511

i loved the poem oh so very much!?!?!
hunnie_girl
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Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


15 posted 12-02-2008 11:45 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

uh oh an old post lol totally 4got bout this one
Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


16 posted 12-04-2008 04:41 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

lol. But Krysti!!... I love your oldie moldy poems .. lol.. This poem is really good. I just hoped that people who struggle with this realize that suicide isn't a good answer. Great write!

-Zach  

I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP

tearsoflove13762
Member
since 09-05-2004
Posts 490
Texas.. and yes i have an acce


17 posted 12-06-2008 03:23 AM       View Profile for tearsoflove13762   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for tearsoflove13762

wow hunnie i love it! i havent been on here in forever and this is my first poem to read tonight so thanks for the great 'welcome back'



aol sn- sweetcountry007

TrueDesire12
Junior Member
since 12-07-2008
Posts 11
England


18 posted 12-09-2008 03:51 PM       View Profile for TrueDesire12   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TrueDesire12

Wow i really like this one!
so meaninful

and thx for the comment on my poem!

TrueDesire
xx
Abbeon
Member
since 11-30-2006
Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder


19 posted 01-12-2009 04:13 AM       View Profile for Abbeon   Email Abbeon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Abbeon

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be

Hunnie why do you always take my words from my heart and show them to me. Your right. I am going to leave. I am going somewhere i want to be.

With love Rebecca-Jade
wwzwlmd8
Member
since 09-23-2006
Posts 96
San Diego,CA


20 posted 01-12-2009 05:26 PM       View Profile for wwzwlmd8   Email wwzwlmd8   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wwzwlmd8

THIS IS MY FAV. PART

but suicide has never been a good thought,
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not.

~Indya

LittleWillow
Member
since 12-27-2007
Posts 54


21 posted 06-11-2009 12:52 PM       View Profile for LittleWillow   Email LittleWillow   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LittleWillow

Brilliant!
Not much else to say!
x
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