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Teen Poetry #8
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nikiah87
New Member
since 2006-06-22
Posts 8
Indiana

0 posted 2006-09-01 03:01 PM



Dear Love,
   Dear Love, Look at what you've done to me. You've taken my heart and thrown away the key. People always said "don't fall in love, it's a mistake." But I think that's one risk I'm willing to take. I know it probably wont be forever. As much as I'd like it to be. I'm willing to take my chances, just have faith in me. Through thick n' thin we've been together, but if it all was to end,In my heart is where you'd remain forever, even if we are just friends. I want you to know I love you, and I hope you feel the same too. Know that you are my everything, and to you I will always be true.

          Love,
            Me

Please let me know what you think!

© Copyright 2006 Ashlee - All Rights Reserved
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
1 posted 2006-09-01 05:27 PM


this was really good, no forced rhyming and sounded like it truly did come straight from the heart. Great job!

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
2 posted 2006-09-01 09:48 PM


I enjoyed it.  I liked how you wrote it in more of a letter form than an actual "poem" form.  Nice job.
I hope to read more from you soon!

~Alli~

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-09-03 01:01 AM


Hi nikiah87,

I loved this letter/poem/whatever you want to call it! It was ... amazing to me, I'm not quite sure how to describe it other than that. The only thing I would suggest though is that you keep the tenses the same, either do past, present not all of the above^^ It makes for a rather confusing poem if you do both, at least for me...

My favorite part of this would just have to be the general content; that the letter was written to love. I found that to be very interesting, that it was written to love instead of the person you love...

Anyway, thanks for sharing this wonderful post! I can't wait to read more from you

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

Shaddow1
Junior Member
since 2006-09-04
Posts 41
Kingman Az, USA
4 posted 2006-09-04 03:12 PM


I like how in your writing it sounds like you just wrote it out, you didn't think you just let it flow from you freely. It makes your poem that much better. I also agree that the rhyming is perfect, it was not forced but comes natural.

Love is like a Rose; it always dies - Britney Miller

nikiah87
New Member
since 2006-06-22
Posts 8
Indiana
5 posted 2006-09-05 08:51 AM


Thank you guys for all your comments on this poem/letter. It came from the heart and really just kind of flowed out of me. I really didn't think about it to much. Thanks again.
*ashlee*

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
6 posted 2006-09-06 06:48 PM


i liked that it was pure and it flowed nicely and it made a lot of sense i hope to hear more from you... acually this is the first thing i've read from you so i will look for more good write...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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