navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Footfalls in the Mud
Open Poetry #44
Post A Reply Post New Topic Footfalls in the Mud Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

0 posted 2009-05-29 04:54 PM



Footfalls in the Mud

I walked beside him, quietly at first, footfalls in the mud
Catching his attention as time passed in maudlin days
There were moments when I would look up and find him watching
Silently assessing if I had the right stuff, an acceptable level of cool
The mud dried hard around him, clearly he had fallen before

I leaned forward, perhaps too far sometimes
Jousting a little juice, a little saucy cocktail of laughter and longing
The mud was warm all the same, when I fell
Partially sucked into the cushion of a long standing mote

And we laughed, he and I, about how sensitive I was
There were times when I sensed a trauma there
Just behind that thick covering of aloof despondency
Sometimes, I would tiptoe up close enough to chisel the edges away

Looking forward these days to the showers of summer
Thinning the opaque mystery that molts from time to time
Barefoot now, I trail the slivers of fallen shell, like a huntress
And wonder if the bisque of belly will burn in the light of love
I carry water as happy tears, just in case

Copyright Kkh 5/29/09

© Copyright 2009 Kathleen Harris - All Rights Reserved
SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina
1 posted 2009-05-29 04:59 PM


"There were moments when I would look up and find him watching
Silently assessing if I had the right stuff, an acceptable level of cool
The mud dried hard around him, clearly he had fallen before"

Unfortunatley carries truth. Loved it.

Bloodline
Member
since 2009-05-23
Posts 236
Oklahoma
2 posted 2009-05-30 11:26 AM


Love the images of life
in the words and emotions
in the lines,

"And we laughed, he and I, about how sensitive I was
There were times when I sensed a trauma there
Just behind that thick covering of aloof despondency
Sometimes, I would tiptoe up close enough to chisel the edges away"

Bloodline

Osprey
Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249

3 posted 2009-05-30 11:49 AM


I reckon, happy tears have more power than summer showers
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
4 posted 2009-05-30 11:19 PM


ThisDiamond - you write with such delicate grace, nicely done...

BC

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
5 posted 2009-05-31 01:53 AM


This is powerful writing.

"Barefoot now, I trail the slivers of fallen shell, like a huntress
And wonder if the bisque of belly will burn in the light of love
I carry water as happy tears, just in case"

Amazing. Loved it!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2009-06-01 09:31 PM


A real beauty, TD.  Gotta love those happy tears!!

You just write so nice~

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
7 posted 2009-06-02 02:19 PM


a great write, even if a bit muddy!

   ... has every bit of tenderness as held in those very tears.

   Ct

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
8 posted 2009-06-02 02:21 PM


much enjoyed this read, my friend.

j.

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

9 posted 2009-06-06 02:41 PM


As always - masterful writing.

Love,
Eric

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
10 posted 2009-06-06 06:05 PM


"There were times when I sensed a trauma there
Just behind that thick covering of aloof despondency"

my fav lines
all is amazing but....
i like them best

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
11 posted 2009-06-07 01:44 PM


Tremendous and insightful write, TD!  Never forget your water for "them there" happy tears!

Helen

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

12 posted 2009-06-08 01:18 AM


this is one of those writes that speaks to your soul and reminds you that you've just been allowed to participate in greatness...thank you for sharing...this is good (and yes, words do fail me)
kindredspirit
Member
since 2009-05-19
Posts 156

13 posted 2009-06-08 05:06 PM


you write truth with bitter-sweet acuity. i will return to read again. amazing write!
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
14 posted 2009-06-20 04:30 PM


Love the many layers of this fine poem, Kathleen.
                                 Ida

HAZARD
Junior Member
since 2009-06-24
Posts 40
ENGLAND
15 posted 2009-06-24 08:01 AM


Tremendous!
Its not often I really like something. But word choice, construction, pace and erudite craftsmanship is all here in abundance.  Relationships are earthy, mud drawn and bitter - yet sweet with laughter and love. Romance is uncertainty lived twice.

Hazard

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Footfalls in the Mud

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary