navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » She Bled
Open Poetry #44
Post A Reply Post New Topic She Bled Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Osprey
Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249


0 posted 2009-05-07 06:22 PM


She Bled

From solitary tower
Behind the mask of lies
Seeking solace with sullen trees
That knew of his demise
He trembled as he touched them
Asked them for her mind
His eyes, they haunted yesterday
His guilt feigned dumb and blind

"Tell me trees, before I venture
From betrayal's keep
Does she know? Can she tell?
Have I stole' her sleep?"

The trees they bowed and turned away
And in a clearing he
Saw fruits of seeds that he had sown
With crass, cult perfidy

For there she bled, as time stood down
Upon the stone of years
And all around the nettles bloomed
Watered by her tears.

© Copyright 2009 Osprey - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2009-05-07 07:45 PM


You are rapidly becoming one of my favorites to read. This is an intriguing write.
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2009-05-07 08:41 PM


Outstanding
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
3 posted 2009-05-07 09:09 PM




For there she bled, as time stood down
Upon the stone of years
And all around the nettles bloomed
Watered by her tears.

Osprey, that beautiful Stanza has the touch of the Master's hand, top accollades for that lovely post, much enjoyed.

Lindsay

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
4 posted 2009-05-07 10:23 PM


I really like this piece
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
5 posted 2009-05-08 05:14 AM


For there she bled, as time stood down
Upon the stone of years
And all around the nettles bloomed
Watered by her tears.

a wonderful piece, great read and very enjoyable sharing.

yann

Raindance
Member
since 2009-02-07
Posts 120
West Coast
6 posted 2009-05-08 08:37 AM


This is a masterpiece!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2009-05-08 10:05 AM


Dear Osprey, you certainly have a 'talon' for writing! Everything about this poem is remarkable!


EA

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
8 posted 2009-05-08 12:03 PM


Beautiful work. =)
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2009-05-08 01:12 PM


enjoyed it much oz, some poeish byron with santana playing in the background
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2009-05-08 02:06 PM


Yes, I too feel that this is an exceptional write.

Love,
Margherita

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11 posted 2009-05-08 02:15 PM


Yo dear Osprey,

This is a very interesting poem.  I rather liked it.

Love Bobby

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2009-05-08 04:37 PM


Totally awesome. I have trouble with scansion, so I can't compliment you on that and know what I'm talking about, but I do know that this read beautifully aloud.

Lyrically enchanting--I very much enjoyed this.


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2009-05-11 02:22 PM


For there she bled, as time stood down
Upon the stone of years
And all around the nettles bloomed
Watered by her tears.

This is wonderful... especially the last verse! *S*

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
14 posted 2009-05-12 02:16 AM


Excellent - I loved all of it, but especially the sullen trees.  I am so glad that I stopped to read - this is a keeper.

Alison

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » She Bled

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary