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Open Poetry #44
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vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA

0 posted 2009-04-25 12:01 PM





Breathe

Once again
I breathe
Softly my heart
My heart beat racing
I breathe once again
When you love me
Let the rain pour
Against softly my window
So deep
To the night
To the dawn
To the morning
Everywhere I go
Everything I do
I breathe
Softly my heart whispers
When you call my name
My heart beats fast
I can heart my hear breathing
I breathe

© Copyright 2009 vandana - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2009-04-25 01:05 PM


Yo dear Vandana,

I see you're in the United States now.  I hope you enjoy it here.

This poem has a good thought to it.  In the line:

"I can heart my hear breathing"

I think you may have "heart" and "hear" switched around.

Love Bobby

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2009-04-25 01:44 PM


Dear vandana, keep on breathing ~ and writing.
This one is especially sweet.


Linda

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
3 posted 2009-04-27 08:11 AM


Very delicate writing.  

"Hardwork pays in the long run"

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2009-04-27 11:25 AM


When you call my name
My heart beats fast
I can heart my hear breathing
I breathe

Just lovely! *S* I like this very much!

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