I want to dance the tango with a llama
Bipedal girls are strictly out of bounds
I'm off to Argentina in the morning
I'll hit the pampas clubs and do the rounds

I'll try the old smooth talking in their ears
Tell them that long necks are so refined
And if they head in numbers for the mountains
I'll know my hopeful offer's been declined

But that won't stop me, for I'm on a mission
No way that they could ever be so quick
I'll wait just out of town as they're stampeding
A bolas round the heels should do the trick

I hear you say: But that will cost you dearly
Four stockings? Aren't they twice the price of two?
Yes, but when those legs emerge from tight-split skirt
The deep green of the Congo won't match you.

When I go along with her to meet her parents
And they ask me: Do you two really suit?
I'll say, I've only ever fancied llamas
Though, in honesty, vicunas are quite cute

But when we get to dancing, then they'll know us
We'll dance the tango in our sensual way
She'll arch her back and strut those legs, so proudly
As they sing and shout, Hernando's Hideaway
OLE