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Open Poetry #44
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SeraphimBroken
Member
since 2009-03-09
Posts 74
USA

0 posted 2009-04-19 04:44 PM


she cried today
the gentle tears
whispered down her
red swollen cheeks

softly, she whimpered
and swallowed hard
as the tears fell and touched
her chilled skin

she opened her eyes
and looked to the sky.
cloudy and gray
like the cold inside her

her dreams, mired
in the mud puddles
before her, swirled
into the wet dust

her hopes cast aside
like a leaf in a storm
like many have before
the rain cares not where they land

feeling the cool chill
of loneliness, she
shuddered, with the
leaves in the breeze.

.... the vibration in her hand...

.... she looked to read...

"I love you...  but..."

another tear fell to the cold wet ground...
...  and the rain cared not


© Copyright 2009 seraphimbroken - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2009-04-19 06:49 PM


Yo dear SeraphimBroken,

This is a sad and interesting write.

Love Bobby

Osprey
Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249

2 posted 2009-04-19 07:25 PM


'I love you...but'
A euphemism for...I don't love you at all.
A hard-hitting ending to your poem, that offers no sympathy to any age.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2009-04-19 07:56 PM


SeraphimBroken - a sad interesting writing...

BC

SeraphimBroken
Member
since 2009-03-09
Posts 74
USA
4 posted 2009-04-19 08:45 PM


Bobby; Bill;
Thanks for the read, yes it is sad. I hope that it expresses the true loneliness felt for what it was. It was hard to find the words to express the thoughts, but i think it came out alright... i think.

Osprey;
"I love you... but.." no matter how these words come out,as you get older you finally discover their true meaning and you learn to look past "I love you", Thank you so much for the read

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