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Open Poetry #44
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exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2009-04-16 03:05 AM


wondering where the mist came from
seeping slowly
I can hear the chords to their entrance
was it always this quiet?

softly
softly, so there is no trace
you are here for cover
you are here to turn a blind eye

at least a lack of sleep
came with dreams

I am plump with gravity
and I miss floating

do you remember my hair?
strand by strand
falling
now so glossy,
so glossy and so clean.


at least a lack of sleep
came with dreams.

© Copyright 2009 Chelsea - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2009-04-16 08:51 AM


"at least a lack of sleep
came with dreams

I am plump with gravity
and I miss floating"




there you are! You go away for too long

I always enjoy reading you! Stop staying gone so long, I believe we keep having this conversation LOL stick around will ya?!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
2 posted 2009-04-16 11:12 AM


I love the gravity line.  The repeated line about a lack of sleep bringing dreams-I like that too.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
3 posted 2009-04-16 04:58 PM


I agree.  The gravity line was nice.

Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2009-04-20 12:08 PM


I am plump with gravity
and I miss floating

Wonderful poem... especially these lines! *S*

soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
5 posted 2009-04-20 01:38 PM


SEA's right, stick around more! I LOVE reading your work, anytime I see something new by exhale, I know I gotta click it and let it engulf me.

Like this one. It's just heavenly, such lovely lines and feel.

I always love your words.

"Alone: that ain't the word, it's just a groan in the morning nobody ever heard" --Justin Currie, 'Gold Dust'

Rosie_Orange
Junior Member
since 2009-04-20
Posts 46
South Africa
6 posted 2009-04-20 05:01 PM


It reminds me of a broken heart... as if all hope is lost
Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
7 posted 2009-04-21 01:36 AM


Waking dreams, wishful thinking....I felt a spiral in this, sort of the way one feels when they look at the old barber poles and can't decide if the red and white is going up...or down.

Sometimes, it's just about filling a space, and I liked the glossy hair notation.  It left such a sense of real in what is untouched.

  Great poetry! ~Karen  
  


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
8 posted 2009-04-21 01:58 PM


exhale - something about your poem that is intruiging, nice write...

BC

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