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Open Poetry #44
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Dog
Junior Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 48
England

0 posted 2009-04-14 09:17 AM


My first post on passions, thought i would start with a light one to test the water.....

Two Long Days

For me, a gift from God
Such things i'd never known
Love, passed down from God
A seed that had been sown

Nothing had prepared me for
The change about to come
Nothing in life prepared me for
The coming of my son

My little boy, my perfect boy
Heaven forged a gift for me
For life, mine has just begun
It was written that we would meet

Though without him, most days i live
Only physically though you understand
But the time that im allowed to give
He barely leaves my hands

Our together time, my favourite time
Me and him just on our own
We play-fight, tickle, sing and rhyme
Until the time that he must go

Such pain that burns inside
I despise it when he leaves
I try not to but i cry everytime
Though my tears are never seen

I'll explain to him my pain someday
And how i miss him so
How much i love our together time
Though there is two long days to go

So for you son, a gift from God
The sort you've always known
Love, passed down from God
A Dad with which to grow

© Copyright 2009 Jey - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2009-04-14 09:28 AM


Jey, this is very sweet, and makes me smile to see
Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
2 posted 2009-04-14 09:38 AM


This touched me as a father myself.

Sweet indeed, as SEA said.

Dog
Junior Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 48
England
3 posted 2009-04-14 09:54 AM


Thank you Sea, it was intended to be nothing but sweet, though i have found poetry has a way of pulling feelings out of you and it headed down a slightly darker path as it progressed.

Thanks Chalmette Guy, i find him an easy target to write about and have to kerb myself sometimes, as its too easy if ya know what i mean, in the sense that i dont have to delve to deep to find feelings for him etc.

critical mass
Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275
Michigan
4 posted 2009-04-14 12:15 PM


Yep

You never really know what love is until you have a child.

nice write

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 posted 2009-04-14 02:46 PM


Yo Dog,

I liked the thought expressed in your poem.

At 72 going on 100, I feel that way about all five of my grandchildren.

Bobby  


LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
6 posted 2009-04-14 10:05 PM



First of all my friend I welcome you to PIP
You will meet so many wonderful people here who all share a love of poetry. I'm sure that we will all be able to help ease your pain when you have to give up your little boy. It was a sad poem but you wrote it well. It is as Critical Mass said, you don't really know what love is until you have a child of your own. Take care.

Lindsay

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2009-04-14 11:41 PM


Dog - nothing can compare to having a son, or daughter. Painful write, but compelling...

BC

Dog
Junior Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 48
England
8 posted 2009-04-15 06:13 AM


critical mass - thank you, yeh it was a definite unknown feeling, powerful isnt it.

bobby - thanks, oh no so your saying the im stuck with such feelings that will only get stronger as the family extends ? wow thats an awful lot of love for one man to cope with lol

lindsay - hi and thank you, well i feel right at home already, somebody mentioned to me yesterday this being a place of kindred spirits.....yup the sadness in it was never meant to be there, it was meant to be lighthearted, even fun, im still learning but i guess a poem is similar in someways to a story, maybe therefore the story of that poem had to be told regardless of my original plan for it ? agreed though it is a unique feeling, different even to your feelings for your own parents.

Bill - thank you kindly.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

9 posted 2009-04-15 11:09 PM


first, welcome to PiP, and what a nice write...don't worry about the emotion...Dadhood will do that to you...cherish and appreciate it...the 'other' days will come...live the day completely and continue to love that boy...very nicely done
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2009-04-20 11:48 AM


The change in mood is an honest expression... and just emphasizes the love. *S* Well done... and Welcome to Passions! *S*
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