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Open Poetry #44
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2009-04-03 10:09 AM



we were the wire men just coppering then
in our jaunty clattering jeans
with the chimney wide mouths yawning
over bone dry leather and laces

on the early tide of days we climbed
down into the valley of quiet trees
carrying the long arms of the dead men
in their new jewelry for one way journeys

we were vulgar with our eyes and mouths
as we smote the stones into pastry gravel
and intruded into the virgin earth
with hands that were cursed to be heathen

lines we made in the sky glowed as gold
but were useless without the songs
of the wind when it strummed transpositions
a vixen harp that dared the snow to kiss

lest there grew blisters on the widow's lips

__________________

daark

translation: old time wire linemen would place copper wire for communications lines...dead men were unsupported cross arms that hung in the middle of canyons to keep the wire from slapping together when the wind blew..transpositions were turnovers in the circuit to cut down noise..the ringing current would raise blisters on the skin if you got across the lines..etc etc etc..


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SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2009-04-03 10:12 AM


glad for the note...I would never have been able to guess.

very cool write D

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2009-04-03 10:24 AM


lines we made in the sky glowed as gold
but were useless without the songs
of the wind when it strummed transpositions

You take the mundane and dangerous... and make it exciting and beautiful! This is superb!!

One of my cousins was a line man until he was tossed to the ground by a live wire... he survived both the current and the fall, but changed professions. *S*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2009-04-03 10:30 AM


Your explanation added to my understanding ~ and appreciation ~ of this poem.

I would like to echo Suthern's reply ~

"You take the mundane and dangerous... and make it exciting and beautiful! This is superb!!"


EA

angellea
Member
since 2009-03-29
Posts 144
NC, USA
4 posted 2009-04-03 08:53 PM


Fascinating write. Thanks for the translation, by the way.

How do you do it?

unboundpoetess
Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477

5 posted 2009-04-03 09:39 PM


Interesting write you got here.
Clever and awesome as always, BigDaddyDaark.

Now I am curious to learn more about the linemen.

~Heather

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2009-04-03 09:43 PM


Dark

I'm an electrical contractor and I only got small hints.
I too am glad for the note. The blistering is amazing, I never would have thought.
Nice piece of history and as always nicely written.

Eric

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2009-04-04 06:39 AM


ms suesea, thanks babe

____________________

ms suthern, thanks amiga lady for the read and smile..I did it many years ago and loved the climbing and the place between earth and sky

_____________________

ms ea..thank you for looking in this piece

_______________________


ms angellea, thanks ms...how do I do it?  just the prozac and good whiskey..


______________________

unboundpoetess..thanks ms, well maybe there are a few more tales around in my memory trunk about them....

__________________

eric..thanks guy...something about the 90 volts DC if the skin is wet or the wire is wet and the skin is dry...dunno the science of why, just know it hurts like a mother in law's kiss

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2009-04-04 09:56 PM


I'm pondering the idea that you may well be on the list of most underestimated pipoets...

You consistently write intelligent cohesive verse, and so subtle at that.

I hope you know that you have my respect. You might prefer m'panties, but you get my respect. *chuckle*

I am a serious fan, lovie.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2009-04-05 07:32 AM


ms serene...thanks so much babe...panties?  um...babe, I wear boxer briefs..I do thank you for the offer though...but they would just not fit me right..  I adore your respect and value it highly


Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2009-04-20 03:05 AM


I totally agree with Serenity.  Your poetry is interesting, fun to read, and puzzling to understand at times.  I love how you use words - and I love maybe misunderstanding the meanings at times.

A

moonbeam
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Member Elite
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356

11 posted 2009-04-20 03:51 AM


Great title, and some really wonderful stuff going on in this. Must rank as one of the best pieces I've seen here in Open in many a long year.  The sounds, the tone, some really startling images, eg, "pastry gravel". Now I have to shut up, as your crit flag is set to "no" .


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2009-04-20 06:14 AM


ms ali-san, thanks babe


_____________

moonbeam, thank you very much

critical mass
Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275
Michigan
13 posted 2009-04-20 06:23 AM


very nice imagery as always.

Cheers.

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