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Open Poetry #44
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2009-04-02 09:50 PM


I have walked hot gravel fast
barefoot in July.
I have done some things so dumb
I was nearly branded "daft".
And in some corners, I still am,
because I type "I am" too much.
As if the pretense of pronoun
eliminates the personal--
I am the one who sees the stuff
and interprets it to verse
letter by the letter
word
without the I, no thing would die
and worse?

No thing would live.

I do not know your world wherein
it is polite to not exist
or exhibit traits therein
the ego is intangible --
seen but never heard? Absurd!
I think that this is much pretense
and sure, it makes life less intense
to detach yourself from it
and court-report the poetry
pretending that "I" can't exist
or worse, the words "should not"
eclipse
the color
of your mother's
womb
whence she did convulse you born...

I have walked hot gravel, slow,
blistering my feet.
I have pretended it was snow
and felt the lessening
of fire in the twixt of toes
as I measured each one's stretch--
popping bubbled tar in streets
and once? I broke my etch-a-sketch

to see just how it worked.

I'm not bragging brilliance,
nor regretting time ill-spent -
for when I crashed the frame of it
in childish histrionic fit
I came to realize that it
won't work without my twiddling

the dials of...I am.

* * *

Um, I am, as ever, open to suggestions--especially on the title. I don't like my title here, but I couldn't think of anything better. thanks in advance!


© Copyright 2009 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2009-04-02 09:55 PM


and thank God
you "are"


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2009-04-02 10:10 PM


and "you are" one who can make me forget that "I am..."

(that's a good thing, too, it's like...relationship zen)



egads yer lovely

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2009-04-02 10:14 PM


uhhh the title got me in here K and? you

I have ran down (barefoot) hot, sharp gravel, trying to keep up with my older brother who was always faster...and had longer legs...and liked to dare me to do things he knew I would never win at....LOL


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2009-04-02 10:18 PM


sue-sea?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmuah...

I'm so confused lately.

I mean, I can't remember last week (or even ten minutes ago) but I can remember things now from when I was seven.

Like how it feels to cuddle blankets of clover with no fear of bees...



So, thank you, I guess the title stays.

Unless? I forget I said that and somebody suggests somethin' better. and grins

love ya ladytats

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2009-04-03 12:54 PM


and once? I broke my etch-a-sketch

to see just how it worked.

Me too!  I think we are both daft?  Night night.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2009-04-03 01:58 AM


see?

"chicks dig me."



gawdess loves ye, my mysterian!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2009-04-03 02:29 AM


it IS sooooooooooo good to read you, i have missed your tremendous mind m'ladylove.

I like the title too   


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2009-04-03 02:33 AM


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....now there's m'ladylove!

*fade to black*

and silk drop curtains...silhouettes only.

Use yer imagination.

I love you my muah.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2009-04-03 02:50 AM


i'm using ....  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2009-04-03 02:54 AM


oh my.

Now I am too!

heh? <--don't mind the beard. *grin*

I'm getting me some hormones soon.

Maybe even sooner than I hoped? HA!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2009-04-03 02:58 AM


ohhhhhhhhhhh now shush...

you are not worthy of these cheap silly jokes.

I love you, lovely.



She's pearls, folks. Pearls.

critical mass
Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275
Michigan
12 posted 2009-04-03 04:30 AM


clever poem

anything with toes in it grabs my attention immediatedly.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2009-04-03 06:21 AM


oh I don't know, the beard could come in handy....lol you make me naughty.


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
14 posted 2009-04-03 10:10 AM


Hon... you may not brag brilliance... but we'll do that for you. *S*

And this poem?? You do recall that I was brought up in screams-of-fire-and-brimstone Bible-slapping-Baptist churches, right?? *G* Well... picture this Sister sitting primly between bellows of AMEN!!! *S*

Title to last word... though barefoot memories and poetic cartwheels... I bow in awe.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2009-04-03 05:41 PM


I read these kind replies and feel so overwhelmed with gratitude--it is as if I hit the friendship lottery!

Such lovely ladies, my my...

and oh the gentlemen.

I am, grateful, I am.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
16 posted 2009-04-03 07:14 PM


RenĂ© Descartes would scream with delight, "At last somebody understands me!"  

As for me, I tried sanity once for half an hour and it drove me insane.

And don't you DARE change the title!  Or else!!!

Owl

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2009-04-03 07:25 PM


Celeste

What can I say.
I just love what floats around in that intense poetic mind of yours.
Makes me smile.

" And in some corners, I still am,
because I type "I am" too much.
As if the pretense of pronoun
eliminates the personal--
I am the one who sees the stuff
and interprets it to verse
letter by the letter
word
without the I, no thing would die
and worse?"

"No thing would live"

You are without a doubt a precious stringer of self investigation.
Hope you're gonna be around for a long time because this world's a better place with you in it.

Take care

Eric

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
18 posted 2009-04-03 07:35 PM


Oh dirty-ness! ! Now now! LOL Karen you crack me up. Here I am, almost falling off my chair in laughter! ~ Geeze you guys, too funny


ARCTIC WIND

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
19 posted 2009-04-03 07:35 PM


Oh can't forget, you're a naughty one karen


ARCTIC WIND

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