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Open Poetry #44
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to fetch the moon (revised - ballad version)
| Open Poetry #44 |
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to fetch the moon (revised - ballad version) |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
It was too cold to leave the bed To leave the warmth of our cocoon But out of bed she bid me go And fetch the moon. I built a ladder with the wood That lay about in my old shed I worked with glee that night while she Kept warm in bed. The moon was full when I began To scale the ladder in the sky But I lost foot and fell down when A plane flew by. A few Band-Aids, a Tylenol, A beer and I felt fresh as new So I set up to climb again Without ado. An hour or two to reach the clouds, I reached the ladder end at dawn But as I would unhook my prize The moon was gone. So I scaled down the ladder for I had to go to work that day She made me swear to make that night My next assay. And failure she could not forgive That night the moon I had to fetch Or otherwise she swore she’d make Of me a wretch. At dusk I started my ascent And I unhooked the moon. I fell And broke my legs on my way down; She gave me hell. Admitted at the hospital The doc prescribed a three week stay She packed her makeup and her thongs And moved away. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Marc-Andre Germain - All Rights Reserved | |||
WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
My mother used to alway say: "Can't win for loosing" Never was quite sure what it meant, but I think it fits. Thongs too, Damn. On the last lines, you might take the last word or two from the previous line, and start the last line with it, ie: But out of bed she bid me, Go and fetch the moon. I worked with glee that night while, She kept warm in bed. Just a thought, WT. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Mark, Why start each line with a cap in a narrative poem like this? Starting each line with a cap in poetry was popular a century or more ago. Bobby |
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
thank yoU. i had fuN. you are better orf without 'eR. you just cannot please women like thaT. next she would have sent you after the suN. do you like the capitals at the enD? love from boshiI 2. |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
WT, thanks for reading. The idea is interesting, but it would kill the rhymes. I know they aren't so popular nowadays, but I like them. bObbY And bOshII, thAnks fOr rEAdIng. mArk |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL at the replies. She didn't appreciate what you went through to give her the moon? Tsk tsk....good thing you didn't try to grab the Aurora Borealis! An enjoyable read, caps or no caps. |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Thanks for reading, Midnitesun, I'm glad you've enjoyed it. I'm still not satisfied with it, it needs more work. Mark |
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