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Open Poetry #44
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2009-03-21 01:13 PM


I can feel the dirt is moving
On the tips of green I see it
As the sun fills sky with morning
It is building bone on skin now

And the deepening of darkness
Is because the day is lighter
as the ducks flying to summer
Find my open morning window

I can see the breath of springtime
In the creeping warmth of breezes
And the shaking of the rooftops
Is the scattered raindrops drying

I can feel my skin get lighter
And its cloth makes silk from flannel
For the window will be softened
Chill be taken from the curtains

And I want to travel seaward
Across the nape towards summer
Fill my buckets with the fragrant
Seaweed shells and sandy dollars

And I know the snow of fresh fall
Will be melting on the mountains
And the apple painted sunsets
Will swallow whole the day in lovely

For the winter now is over
Its cold sheets of curled sleeping
Leaving shadows to delight in
Fine for feather-pillowed nighttime

As I feel the warming fire
From the hands across the seasons
Fill my cart with favorites
Walking with me into April

No matter what the season's heart-song
It is the window that opens inward
That is the music from the corner
of going home
--------------
revised from 3-04

[This message has been edited by Martie (03-21-2009 02:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
1 posted 2009-03-21 01:17 PM


I love this Martie! ~ Beautifully written


ARCTIC WIND

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2009-03-21 01:29 PM


Martie, this is one of your very best.  Waiting for my "girls" to come and then will let Tori recite it aloud.  She does your poetry such justice.  Beautifully uplifting as we are about to get snow again tonight I think.

Carpe' Diem,
Mysteria

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2009-03-21 01:44 PM


In a cadence of forward motion, you paint the coming of spring with new colors. THose seen through your eyes are always new and memorable, Thank you martie for this array of images, and the promise of things to come - always a wonderfu topic for a poet's pen
Loved it
Love you
Liz

moonbeam
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since 2005-12-24
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4 posted 2009-03-21 06:04 PM


Ohh my God, this is beautiful Martie.  It's pure Mary Oliver but better than many of hers.

So so many memorable moments in this poem to compliment you on, and I just wasted all my time replying in silly threads about CA.

However I will return "As the sun fills sky with morning" as you so beautifully put it, to do this poem justice.

This is one for your next collection for certain.

Thanks.

Rob  



secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
5 posted 2009-03-21 06:07 PM


great imagery:

"I can see the breath of springtime
In the creeping warmth of breezes
And the shaking of the rooftops
Is the scattered raindrops drying"

fine seasonal 'write'!

much applause for this 'penning'!!

TheAnonDavid
Member
since 2008-08-28
Posts 237
UK
6 posted 2009-03-21 06:20 PM


What can I say that hasn't been said yet? I won't try other than to add my voice of appreciation to all the others.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2009-03-22 03:51 AM


Only you sweet flower girl could pen this beauty from your heart. Oh how it made me feel the warmth. I simply love this!

"As I feel the warming fire
From the hands across the seasons
Fill my cart with favorites
Walking with me into April

No matter what the season's heart-song
It is the window that opens inward
That is the music from the corner
of going home"

The window that opens inward ah yes, that's so special to me. Well because, that's where my music comes from too.

Take care my dear girl.

Eric

moonbeam
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8 posted 2009-03-22 06:51 AM


Martie

I'm feeling jealous of the creativity and originality displayed in a poem written in the Open forum of PiP.  Times are indeed a'changing.  

I've reviewed all the other "music from" poems, they are all good, way beyond the quality of writing normally found on public message boards.  But in the many years I've "known" you you have gradually improved to achieve extraordinary consistency of quality.  The thing that distinguishes this poem is the way you have maintained the depth of the imagery.  What I mean by that is that, whereas most good writing employs fresh and clear imagery, the best writing endows the images with the power of transformation: the power of becoming more than they are.  It's one of the ways that poem becomes more than the sum of its parts, the way it says more than the words say.  In my view it's the main way, at least the way I personally respond to best.

It's pointless to pick out highlights from this because there are so many.  Neither can I make suggestions for improvement except possibly to say that I'm a bit iffy about the use of "lovely" as a noun.  But in the face of such writing it seems rather churlish to point this out.

Many thanks

M

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2009-03-22 07:04 AM


Still a little chilly here in PA, but when coming home from work yesterday I saw a beautiful hillside of daffodils opening.

They are our first signs of Spring.

Lovely images, as always

M

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
10 posted 2009-03-22 10:07 AM


The manner with which you weave in and out of the fabric of language is delightfully intriguing.

Spring is on my mind, as well, we have had sunshine and showers and today is gray, but it is like the dawning just before the promised joy is revealed.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Midnitesun
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Gaia
11 posted 2009-03-22 10:10 AM


Martie, thank you dear poet for this depth of renewed-life write. It is exquisite. Your imagery and the way you connect the touch of nature to the human heart are magnificent word bouquets.
Happy Spring, dearest poet.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
12 posted 2009-03-22 03:07 PM


Dear Martie, what a treat to read this magnificent Spring poem today! Through your words the scent of Spring enters through my own open windows too.

So so beautiful!

Love,
Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2009-03-22 04:31 PM


Sissie, I'll have to just agree with Moonbeam
on his comments...because you are all of that, and more.






suthern
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Louisiana
14 posted 2009-03-23 08:26 AM


Pure perfection as only the magnificent Martie can pen... beautiful work!!
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2009-03-23 12:43 PM


Hi all you wonderful poetic friends!  Thanks so much for your comments...much appreciated.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
16 posted 2009-03-23 06:32 PM


Martie - it's nice to see your words again, enjoyed them in this writing...

BC

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
17 posted 2009-03-23 08:02 PM


"I can feel my skin get lighter
And its cloth makes silk from flannel
For the window will be softened
Chill be taken from the curtains

And I want to travel seaward
Across the nape towards summer
Fill my buckets with the fragrant
Seaweed shells and sandy dollars"

and....
"No matter what the season's heart-song
It is the window that opens inward
That is the music from the corner
of going home"

perfection!

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
18 posted 2009-03-23 08:50 PM


I love these Martie moments where you fill my senses with beauty!  Oh, what a gift you have, Lady!  I could just imagine the peeling buds, stretching and clothing themselves in their Spring wear!  

What a lovely, lovely poem!  When I read it aloud, I found myself especially drawn to this verse, although they were all quite lovely:

   "And I want to travel seaward
    Across the nape towards summer
    Fill my buckets with the fragrant
   Seaweed shells and sandy dollars"


Hugs,

Misce'

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2009-03-23 10:02 PM


Ahhhh ... now that was a rush of fresh spring air from your words, directly into my being. There's no need for me to step outside ... I can feel it through your words Martie. Beautifully visual as always. I have missed reading you. This was wonderful!

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

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