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Open Poetry #44
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zaxby
Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48
California

0 posted 2009-03-11 10:33 PM


Lying on the ground looking upward to the sky,
Lacy blue cloud effect way up there so high.

Drifting dandelion, smell of grass so sweet,
Robin sings a tune for me as I rest my feet.

Birch trees wave nearby fluttering sun drenched leaves,
Farmers in a field beyond sweat and roll their sleeves.

Bees upon a mission attack flowers bursting from the ground,
Cicadas, crickets, bring their tunes in this symphony of sound.

Thunder cracks my dreaming wind is humid hot and heavy,
Lightning flash from bursting cloud makes hail upon my Chevy.

I’m soaked to the skin and peppered by the hail,
I jump into the car that cocoons me from the gale.

The hail beats a rhythm on the roof of my car,
With this driving beat I know I’ll take it far.

Spinning tires spray mud at the place where I lay,
Swerving down a country road on this special day.

Radio blasting with wipers moving to the beat,
Take Nomad into town a beast upon the street.


© Copyright 2009 Thad Geer - All Rights Reserved
turtle
Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548
Harbor
1 posted 2009-03-12 12:32 PM


Hi Zaxby,

I enjoyed the read. A 56 nomad is a cool car. A 56 nomad woodie is an act of God. (chuckle)

The rhymes are a little too simple, but I did like "heavy chevy" heh

turtle

Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501

2 posted 2009-03-12 02:07 AM


Zaxby, a beautiful piece, with just the right amount of alliteration and a few internal rhymes. They rhymes were alright for me, but do you really own a Chevy? Perhaps if I move to Barrie, I can own a Ferrari

Mark

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2009-03-12 11:53 AM


I enjoyed the sight, sounds ~ and the feel of this lively write! Thank you!


EA

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