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Open Poetry #44
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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2009-03-10 02:07 PM


'Neath cloudless skies in weather fair
I chanced to walk along a stream
My footsteps mute on moss clad stones
my senses more acute did seem
alert to all of natures sounds
and of my place within her scheme

My thoughts absorbed in lush surrounds
as shafts of sunlight rise in columns
Attuned to subtle breezes passing
cathedral pines in glades grown solemn
Down peaceful stream through forest flowing
a leaf performs a water slalom

Where one might just regain some part
of what's succumbed to lifes' demands
Renew ones sense of wonder as
time moves as if we've stilled its hands
The music of the water speaks
in tones that one might understand

Rush not into that future looming
as lambs led to an early slaughter
The journey not the destination's
that which holds value sons and daughters
find those things which for you hold value
immerse yourself within lifes waters

'Neath cloudless skies in weather fair
I chanced to walk along a stream
which spoke to me of passing time
in ways I understood it seemed


© Copyright 2009 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2009-03-10 02:30 PM


Your words were as calming as babbling stream waters.

I bet Balladeer would deem this worthy of a buck or two! lol

A very beautiful 'peace' of poetry.


Linda

turtle
Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548
Harbor
2 posted 2009-03-10 05:23 PM


Hey Doc,

Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The journey not the destination's
that which holds value sons and daughters
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loved this and I certainly agree.

Turtle

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
3 posted 2009-03-11 07:40 AM


EA,
Thank you. From Elysian fields, to turtles'
Harbor by way of Bewilderment.
Doc

turtle,
Thanks for the r&r, glad you liked.
Doc

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2009-03-13 11:50 AM


DrMoose,

Can you fix my meter?  I can trade you - thinks - wordiness for some meter.  I know you are a real smart Moose.  In fact, you are the first moose I have met who is a doctor.  Are you a medical doctor or a Doctor of Moosology?  'Cause, Doctor, I need rhythmic fixin'.

Oh, and by the way, I think this poem is absolutely wonderful. Thanks for sharing it with us.

A

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2009-03-13 12:49 PM


  Tell you what I would LOVE to see, and that is you and Michael doing a duet together, about something that appeals to you both to write together.  I bet that would really be one lesson in perfect rhyme we would all want to keep!

This was wonderful Dr. Moose.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
6 posted 2009-03-13 07:32 PM


Alison,
Thanks. Reminds me of the old saying, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". I've seen  examples of your meter, and it seems just fine to me, lol, but if you want help with anything specific just let me know and I'll help in any way I can.  As far as being a doctor, I'm afraid I forged my poetic license just to get my hands on all the good meds.
Doc

Mysteria,
Thank you. I for one am quite honored that you would even suggest such a thing. While Balladeer and I go back almost as long as Passions has been around, I wouild quite honestly say he is by far much more knowlegeable about poetry than I. That being said, I'm game if he is.
Doc

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