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Open Poetry #44
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pontyjim
Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 40
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2009-03-07 07:41 AM



In her eyes, nothing.

No dream of success,

No outburst of purpose or feeling.

All is obscurity, all is incomprehensible, all is nothing.

Yea though I dwell in this valley of complacency,

It is time to dispense with melancholy.

The encroachment of you put a bondage on my soul,

A faint tremor at first, until finally

I was handed the lead-role of resentment

In a pageant of revenge.

Clothed in fugitive, intangible charm,

I dance away days of pain, devoured of power,

Consoled by people with a sweet grip of pity.

Their silent ridicule of sympathy

gives rise to the gust of triumphant voices:

there is a creature of great silences to slay,

it is incapable of individuality, it is evoked to scorn.

Let it be stung by stiffened contempt,

Let the purity of your misfortune drag your petty insolence

Back into the nothingness, from whence you spawned.

© Copyright 2009 James White - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-03-07 08:21 AM


Welcome to Pip, James!

This is a very passionate write, a picturesque gallery of feelings, a visual of the path you walked from the first glance (when she materialized out of nothingness) to the last moment when you wish her back into nothingness.

Impressive how you caught this stormy "inbetween".

Love,
Margherita


pontyjim
Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 40
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2009-03-07 08:36 AM


Thank you for the welcome Margherita.
I'm glad you liked the poem. I do tend to be very visual in my writing, sometimes to my own detriment (see "Clouds of Why" and Turtles response) but I did like the way this one finished.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2009-03-07 12:38 PM


Hello, my fellow Ontarian! Welcome aboard the PiP Ship Lollipip, as I affectionately refer to this home away from home!

You have some very creative turns of phrase in this debuting poem of yours!

Your closing lines summed up your poem perfectly ~ "Back into the nothingness, from whence you spawned."

Giving you a warm, welcoming PiP hug,

Earth Angel

turtle
Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548
Harbor
4 posted 2009-03-07 01:01 PM


Hey jim,

Loved the read, the expression of emotiom is vivid and strong. Nice poem


Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
5 posted 2009-03-07 02:12 PM


Welcome to pip!


ARCTIC WIND

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
6 posted 2009-03-07 02:36 PM


Welcome to PIP, pontyjim, Interesting first post.
                            Ida

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2009-03-07 02:55 PM


pontyjim - enjoyed your writing, and looking forward to reading more...

BC

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2009-03-07 07:09 PM


Welcome!
Hey, at least she had an impact on your psyche!
So it wasn't all for nothing, was it?

pontyjim
Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 40
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2009-03-07 08:56 PM


Thank you all for the welcomes and warm words! I am confident that as time moves forward i will get to know more of and about you all. Cheers
daddysgurlxx5xx
New Member
since 2009-03-08
Posts 8

10 posted 2009-03-08 11:13 AM


hys i am new to this as well and just wanted to say i really liked your poem ... and i dont know the poem made me think about alot of things...
I will be reading alot more of your poems..
keep it up

pandabear
Junior Member
since 2009-03-08
Posts 36

11 posted 2009-03-08 11:21 PM


ur really good
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2009-03-14 07:22 PM


I like this very much... It's too unsettling to be called beautiful, but it is powerful and thought-provoking... Excellent write!!
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