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Open Poetry #44
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Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia

0 posted 2009-03-06 03:58 AM



When thought becomes the breath of heard
When pen and page become as one
When then eyes do watch each word
The writer’s work is done

© Copyright 2009 Rick Van Weenen - All Rights Reserved
tao power
Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109

1 posted 2009-03-06 04:27 AM


I like this poem, although I feel it's too short.  I know that there is no rule for how long a poem must be, I just feel you could have picked at the poem and got it to open up even more.  

The tightness of your lines and rhymes is near perfect.  Great job in that regard.

This might sound mean, but is that really your picture or is it a Just For Men ad?

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
2 posted 2009-03-06 05:04 AM


tao power thank you for your reply, I know the poem is short, but the lines carried all I wanted to say tonight, I may continue on it in the near future and you can read again ok, and yes, that is my picture for the rest I really don't know what you mean, take care and again thank you for the reply.

Rick

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2009-03-06 11:07 AM


I would like to have a book of you



very nice poem here! Enjoyed the brevity


Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2009-03-06 12:37 PM


Unusual brevity for you, dear Rick, but I think it is just perfect the way it is. It says it all.

Love,
Margherita


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2009-03-06 01:47 PM


I'd say that's a great succinct sumation of a writer's perspective.

Eric

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
6 posted 2009-03-06 04:15 PM


Dear Dixie, oneday I will send you one my friend, thank you for the visit and reply, good to see you here, hope things are going better for you.

Dear Margherita, for me it is very brief, but the words did say what I wanted them to and to write more would have undone the meaning, good to see you here my friend, thank you for your reply.

Hi Eric, appreciate you reply my friend, very good to see you here replying.

To you all my friends, again thank you.

Sincerely Rick

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2009-03-06 05:41 PM


Enjoyed...James
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2009-03-06 06:39 PM


Yeppers! When all those things come into play ~ mission accomplished!

Warm hug 'n a smile across the miles,

Linda

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
9 posted 2009-03-06 09:39 PM



Rick old cobber, I must be honest

that is not one of your best by a long shot.

When I think of all the wonderful poems

that I've heard you recite at our monthly meetings makes me wonder. all the best.

Noel
Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 42
West Coast
10 posted 2009-03-06 10:22 PM


Straight from the heart of a poet!

Wonderful!!

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
11 posted 2009-03-06 10:35 PM


Rick - always enjoy reading your writings, another one here...

BC

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
12 posted 2009-03-07 07:09 AM


Hi James, thanks for your comment, always good to see you here.

Dear Linda, great to see you here, thanks for the visit my friend, appreciated.

Hi Lindsay, amazing how maybe my shortest poem will give the most replies, has to be something in that, it is my thoughts shared, thanks for your thoughts my friend, might have to add some lines to make most people happy.

Good on ya Noel, lovely to get your reply, thank you my friend.

Hi Bill good to see you here again my friend, thank you for your comment, heart felt.

To you all my friends, again thank you.

Rick

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
13 posted 2009-03-08 12:18 PM


Rick,

I am an avid follower of your poetry and you have yet to let me down.  I like this - the message is strong.  And you know I love your picture (grins).

A

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

14 posted 2009-03-08 12:25 PM


...and in this case, done way too soon...guess it lives up to the old saying of "leave them wanting more"...and as such, am wanting...more
Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
15 posted 2009-03-08 06:20 AM


Dear Alison, thanks for your reply my friend, always love seeing you here, have a great day.

Hi steavenr, I should have more time soon and hope to offer more soon, thanks for your reply my friend, much appreciated.

To you both my friends, thanks for the visit, enjoyed.

Rick

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
16 posted 2009-03-09 06:13 AM


Dear Rick... I read, I smiled, I applauded you...   thank you RDB xx

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
17 posted 2009-03-09 06:39 AM


Hello Roniece, thank you so much my friend for your reply, always good to have you visit, take care we'll chat soon.

Rick

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
18 posted 2009-03-10 09:03 AM


I may not practice succinctness or brevity, but I can appreciate them! *S* I like this very much!
Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
19 posted 2009-03-10 02:07 PM


Dear suthern, it is not my normal practice to write something so short, but in a way now I am happy that I did, it brought a lot of reactions from friends. Thank you for your reply my friend, as always very much appreciated.

Rick

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