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Open Poetry #44
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zaxby
Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48
California

0 posted 2009-03-05 07:25 PM


All the kids in school call me fatso, lard, and lumpy,
they’ve picked on me so much I'm getting kinda grumpy.

The school has built a special desk because I've broken 3 or 4.
once they had to pry me loose when I got stuck inside a door.

When I walk into the cafeteria people step aside,
I can eat nine servings without losing my stride.

Everyone says diet, get rid of all that fat,
dad says "lose a few son," and gives my back a pat.

Mother says she’s tired of replacing springs inside my bed,
everyone's so generous about putting ideas inside my head.

If I go on a diet to lose about half of me,
there will be no more crumpets when I drink a cup of tea.

There will be no more candy, cake will cease to be,
there will be no more potato chips, I diet to be free.

I diet so I'll be the person they all say I can
rock hard super stud, powerful battering ram.

When I walk girls will tremble at my incredible new physique,
even the teachers will stop gawk and take a peek.

Everyone will be my friend and love me from afar,
fat kid no longer, a brand new superstar.

I open up a snickers bar and munch a little while,
"I'll start that diet tomorrow," putting on a wicked smile.

© Copyright 2009 Thad Geer - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2009-03-05 07:53 PM


Thad, whether it is true or not...
you've got a talent in writing.

Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email for a
Very Special Greeting!

And just know that I'm looking forward
to much more from you!


Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2009-03-05 07:58 PM


Welcome, zaxby, to Pip!

You are so right, it seems that diets always can wait til tomorrow, or til Monday ...

You have put this together very nicely, with irony.

The number one rule on eating is still true:

We don't live to eat, but we eat to live.
So this conveys the message of reasonable portions of food.

I should also lose some weight ... tomorrow will be the day to begin the diet !

Love,
Margherita


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2009-03-05 09:28 PM


Enjoyed your first post, zaxby. A little humor goes a long way.
                                  Ida

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2009-03-05 10:16 PM


Welcome to Passions and what an entrance!  I think the humor is great, but the real reason for dieting is for "you!"  If you do it for the wrong reasons it will all just come back.
tao power
Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109

5 posted 2009-03-06 03:20 AM


i like this poem, it's kinda funny.  Check out that LindsayP dude's poetry.  It's comedic also.  Your couplets were tight, not much stutter to the beat.  Good work, looking forward to more.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2009-03-06 10:58 AM




ejoyed and welcome!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7 posted 2009-03-06 11:03 AM


Yo Zaxby,

There you go, that's the spirit.

I like the last strophe.

Bobby

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2009-03-06 11:17 AM


Hello and Welcome!

Love your pen name here! We had a chicken place in Florida called Zaxby's and man they have some good eats! I miss the Tater Chips!


zaxby
Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48
California
9 posted 2009-03-06 02:29 PM


Thanks for the kind welcome, I look forward to trading poems with you all.
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