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Open Poetry #44
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Timid By Nature
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Timid By Nature |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor 
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TIMID BY NATURE Too fog impaled to comb the beach, My mood was dread this dreary morn. The pounding surf I could not reach; As cloudy vail held sea's forlorn. One silenced gap fixed distant chirp. It can't be fowl, this pause in tide? Does this deserve a hiked usurp? Be damn the foul! I stepped to stride. Near tidepool washed with sea's impel, At last I spied that burbled cheep. A Hermit Crab in drilled moon shell, Some green and ugly little creep. I stuck my finger, dare his space; He lurched inside with jetted peep. It struck me how we share disgrace. What fools to hide like timid sheep? We'll not upset our simple lives. Why venture to uncharted lands? And many too unsure to strive, Will strand themselves in shells of bland. turtle  |
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| © Copyright 2009 turtle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well, I'm so happy you came right out of your shell and wrote this. There's hope for all turtles yet! Very clever write. Eric |
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tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
This is definitely one of the better poems I've read tonight. I liked the use of an adjective as a noun. The way you used it to end a line left a hanging sensation that was soon gratified by the strength of the poem's remainder. good work. |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Turtle, I've enjoyed this. Wonderful imagery, a silky flow and a sonic delight that match the message of that piece. Mark |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
Thanks guys, Eric, Tp, - glad you liked. hey Mark - Silky flow?......Hmmmmm. Not supposed to be silky flow, maybe this is not working? This is a true story from the beach on a foggy morn. Between the wave sets, in a brief quiet, I kept hearing a distant peep! The culprit was a small Hermit Crab that had made his home in a defective moonshell that had a tiny hole at its end. It struck me, "What irony!" everytime the little fellow would lurch back inside his shell he would force a burbled jet of air and water out the tiny hole causing a peep like a whistle. The act of his timidity is the very thing that gave him away....... turtle [This message has been edited by turtle (03-04-2009 09:33 PM).] |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Enjoyed this very much, Turtle. Ida |
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zaxby Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48California |
(We'll not upset our simple lives. Why venture to uncharted lands? And many too unsure to strive, Will strand themselves in shells of bland.) The simile works in this well written poem. I especially liked the verse above and the line describing the peeping sound when a hermit crab closes up. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
love it! latearrival |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Turtles and crabs are both cool, and so is this poem. Glad you ventured out of the shell. |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
Thanks guys - I should have came back to this sooner. Hey Tao, At first I wasn't sure what you meant, but I think you mean "forlorn". Actually "forlorn" is a fairly old word and though today it might seem odd to end a sentence with an adjective look at how Shakeaspear uses it in. "King Henry VI, part III: III, i" "Art then forsaken, as thou went'st forlorn!" turtle |
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