navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Hush.
Open Poetry #44
Post A Reply Post New Topic Hush. Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Windhover
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 179
UK

0 posted 2009-02-26 04:40 PM




Just Hush...

Stop... and think, a moment; choose the words you use, most carefully.
What makes you think her soft, sweet words that you consume, so greedily,
hold some secret message that she's on the brink... about to fall?
When, perhaps, in truth... her words hold nothing there for you, at all...

Now... Hush.


I can read between the lines... I know just what She wants to hear;
l know that Her heart is hungry... this Babe's calling... loud, and clear.
Just a few more honeyed words... gentle, sweet... and carefully planned...
and I can pick her, like a ripe peach... just by stretching out my hand.

So I won't Hush!


Just Hush...

And then, What?... Play with Her emotions, on some selfish ego trip?
Shatter Her belief in Love... with weasel words, that lightly trip
off your tongue... poetic dross; meaningless... when used, this way;
l had thought better of you...
l was wrong, if this game, you would play...

Now, Hush.


Give me a break... stop whispering in my mind, I'm not that bad... for sure,
she plays The Game, she walks The Walk... she talks The Talk... she knows the score.
It's just a nudge, to speed things up... I know that the attraction's there...
besides which, they all say that everything, in Love, and War is fair.

No... I won't Hush!


Just Hush...

Then, play it by the Rules... don't act as if you were some heartless Jerk;
choose the words your heart soft, whispers... not the ones you think, best work.
Don't spin those silky webs of hackneyed platitudes, to soft, ensnare
Her heart...
for, she has heard it all before, from other Jerks, out there...

Now... Hush.


Stop whispering... I get the picture; be sincere... yes; OK,Fine...
I've thought of one to melt Her heart, I'll really have to use that line...


No!... Hush...

If, She tends a flame for you... flickering gently... as, She may;
be patient; it may yet, be tiny... but, Love will always find a way...

Now... Hush.

© Copyright 2009 Windhover - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2009-02-26 11:49 PM


this made me smile from start to finish

really a fun read

tao power
Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109

2 posted 2009-02-27 01:31 AM


clever poem.  nauseating use of commas.  

I read this poem like it was about someone who was having a psychotic break and having voices talk in his head about a girl they obsess on.  

but perhaps not.

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
3 posted 2009-02-27 02:40 AM


Nice

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2009-02-27 03:51 AM


Hey you don't need any friends. Just kidding.

Love the conscience reasoning through the morals of love.

Enjoyable read. We all argue with ourselves within, mostly through our thoughts that lead up to making major decisions.
Can't see it as being termed psychotic, although it borders on that.....Then we all do from time to time. Anyone saying they don't are simply lying to themselves.

Take care

Eric

Windhover
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 179
UK
5 posted 2009-02-27 08:30 AM


It was just a poem exploring conscience and attitudes. The punctuation is there to adjust the meter. Sorry if the punctuation offends any of the so-called "progressive" poetic concepts; but that's the way I was taught English Grammar.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2009-02-27 11:38 AM


"nauseating use of commas"

I, adamantly, disagree.

and I loved the play with the Ego and the Id in this."  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Hush.

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary