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Conversation with St. Peter
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Conversation with St. Peter |
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tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
Tell me where the water springs. -Deep beneath where demons dream. Tell me when the sun will shine. -Once to mark the end of time. Tell me how my breath will come. -In choking gasps of polluted lungs. Then tell me why my blood should run! -Our Father needs another son. What purpose shall I serve for him? -You shall serve his every whim. What,I ask, might that include? -Creature comforts, use for food. And when that's done, what shall I be? -Then you'll more or less be free. Free for what? What then my worth? -To sleep all day and feed the earth. My fame and fortune, do they fit in? -As shame and torture, for they are sins. My kingdom then, shall it be grand? -Six feet deep beneath the sand. And what of love? Denied as well? -A curse above. A sacred hell. |
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| © Copyright 2009 tao power - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This gave me a chuckle. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
tao power - great lines of questions, with most powerful answers... BC |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
This needs a little work perhaps, but you took me there and that is the main thing. very good  turtle  |
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Blood.Wolf Member
since 2009-02-09
Posts 54GA, USA |
maybe a bit of work, but the general idea is there. very interesting dramatic poem, though! Poetry... such a beautiful thing. Perhaps the most passionate and beautiful of all literature... |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Tao power, Now where have I heard that before. Bobby |
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tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
you heard my poem before? how's that possible? |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
I don't know about Bobby. I enjoyed what you were doing here. It also seems that you've been reading Songs of Innocence & Songs of Experience and have, like, many of us, fallen in love with Blake's eccentric & enchanting prophetic voice. It pushes us to what is raw and bardic in poetry, and that influence seems very strong here. I think anybody who feels drawn strongly towards Blake has to wrestle with this particular angel, and the struggle or parts of that struggle feel familiar to at least some of us. I know it feels familiar to me. You might check out W. H. Auden's "Elegy for W.B. Yeats," especially the part that begins Earth receive an honored Guest William Yeats is laid to rest to see how Auden handles the seven syllable tetrameter line that Blake so strongly marked as his own almost a hundred and fifty years beforehand. It's really quite impressive. Anyway, that was my reaction. I like your ambition and urge you to keep on going. Sincerely, Bob Kaven |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
Hi tao, Yeats poem is in catalectic trochaic tetrameter I've used this meter myself and Bob is right this poem would work well in that meter. Quote: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Poets who rhyme in trochaic verse often drop the final unaccented syllable from the line. This procedure is called “catalexis” (a word related to the Greek katalektikos, “incomplete”), and it spares the poet the necessity of using disyllabic rhymes, which tend to jingle. Stopping at the seventh position, that is, allows the poet to rhyme securely on a single metrically accented syllable. Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s “The Best,” a poem in catalectic trochaic tetrameter, illustrates this procedure. (I’ll use a caret to indicate the omitted final syllable of the measure.) Timothy Steele ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://instructional1.calstatela.edu/tsteele/TSpage5/meter.html |
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