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Open Poetry #44
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HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

0 posted 2009-02-24 08:06 AM




A Crumpled Notebook

So much was written
Upon those torn pages
Tears had been shed
Through various stages

In meant to be poems
Pages I have torn apart
On tear stained paper
I poured a broken heart

The feeling of despair
Not even words explain
Mixing tears and ink
Pages release the pain

A crumpled notebook
On pages I would write
Piece by piece I tore
Shedding tears tonight


Hope ©2009


© Copyright 2009 HopeS - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2009-02-24 09:50 AM


we pour our hearts out into those notebooks...looking for a place for the ache to go.
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2009-02-24 10:48 AM


beautiful and enjoyable to read, i like the precision of the words and the efficiency of the stanzas...

thanks

yann

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2009-02-24 01:25 PM


Well now, I too had one of these.  You sure wrote the pain of these kind of pages well.
tao power
Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109

4 posted 2009-02-24 02:14 PM


i agree with islander.  this poem is efficient.  No getting bogged down in convoluted psuedo-poetics here.  You stripped this poem to the bone (which I imagine is probably how you were feeling at the time), but it still packs a punch.  This poem is a dancing skeleton. I mean that in the best possible way.
pandababy
New Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 5

5 posted 2009-02-24 03:15 PM


Brilliant, I'm sure we can all relate to the fury of trying to write poetry through pain :-(
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
6 posted 2009-02-24 03:42 PM


HopeS - I've found over the years our best writings seem to come from hurt and painful experiences. This one is well written...

BC

Blood.Wolf
Member
since 2009-02-09
Posts 54
GA, USA
7 posted 2009-02-24 09:02 PM


pain hurts way too much...

I've been through approximately five of those so far.  On to my seventh?  Well, every time I finish one, I burn it to symbolize the freeing of spirits and the destruction of despair!  Yay.

“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."
~Rudyard Kipling

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
8 posted 2009-02-24 10:17 PM




Dry your tears my dear and look around at all the blessings that you have. By far,

they will outdo your problems ten-fold. Now give me a smile. Love

Lindsay

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
9 posted 2009-02-24 11:03 PM


I know the tears that flow to words
I know these pages of hurts
But every one letter every one page
A stronger day on this stage

Sad, but so well written

The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2009-02-25 10:48 AM


ah my friend...

maybe it's time to start another notebook!

I understand

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2009-02-25 03:34 PM


It does help to write out the pain, doesn't it?
Good to read you again, Hope.
Hugs,
Ethel
Some of my poetry links--

Ethels Creations  My Inspirational Pages
Ethels Heart Poems  
Ethels Love Poetry
   My SpiritIsUp Poetry Shelf



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Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
12 posted 2009-02-25 05:44 PM


I admire those who can write of the pains of life ... I for one have trouble doing so and usually just shut down for awhile.  I can fully understand however the words you brought to us with this and the pain also.  Wishing for you a notebook filled with sunshine and happiness.  
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
13 posted 2009-02-25 06:19 PM


Hope

You have this way of expressing such deep thoughts so concisely.
Your economy of words with such meaning is a delight.

Eric

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

14 posted 2009-02-26 02:22 PM


hope, what a lovely way to describe poets...
your a breath of fresh air...

Lee J.

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