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Open Poetry #44
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2009-02-19 12:20 PM


Writing a humorous song from a woman's point of view is fun but a bit of a challenge.....LOL!
.
.
.


Mama! bring the Elmers!
He's done broke my heart again.
Find a sad song on the radio
to match this mood I'm in.

Got a cravin' for some ice cream,
all the chocolate I can stand,
Gonna Google the divorce courts
for a newly single man.

(Chorus)
Duct tape alone won't fix this,
can't drink brandy fast enough.
When your heart goes humpty-dumpty,
you're left feeling mighty rough.
When your pumper's in the dumpster
and he wants to be just friends ...
Mama, bring the Elmers!
He's done broke my heart again.

I knew I shouldn't fall for
a handsome devil-man
Wavy hair and deep blue eyes
and a last-all-winter tan.

His smile could melt the ice caps;
his kiss would curl my toes.
His touch was too much for my skin ...
and then I lost my clothes.

(Chorus)
Duct tape alone won't fix this,
can't drink brandy fast enough.
When your heart goes humpty-dumpty,
you're left feeling mighty rough.
When your pumper's in the dumpster
and he wants to be just friends ...
Mama, bring the Elmers!
He's done broke my heart again.

Guess it couldn't last forever,
musta known that from the start.
It had to be, subconsciously
I knew he'd break my heart.

'suppose it's really my fault,
though he says it's him, not me.
I just thought we'd make it last
until date number three.

(Bridge)
I can't blame the man for looking at a younger, fresher face ...
but dammit, she's my sister and she needs to learn her place!

(Chorus)
Duct tape alone won't fix this,
can't drink brandy fast enough.
When your heart goes humpty-dumpty,
you're left feeling mighty rough.
When your pumper's in the dumpster
and he wants to be just friends ...
Mama, bring the Elmers!
He's done broke my heart again.


[This message has been edited by ethome (02-19-2009 12:58 AM).]

© Copyright 2009 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2009-02-19 02:24 AM


goodness Eric...you have me here! I LOVE this!
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2009-02-19 02:29 PM


Yo Eric,

I think it might just work.

Bobby

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2009-02-19 03:55 PM


Hot dang, 'sister', ya done got it 'write'!

I True-ly would huv gotten more of a kick outta this ~ if it weren't so ding dang sad... (lol)

Love your songs Eric (and your sense of humour) ~ from whatever perspective they're written from!

Love 'n laughs,
Linda

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
4 posted 2009-02-19 04:00 PM


cool song for fools in love that never learn
and belive enough in themselves to love themselves and not have a man be their bandaids..

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2009-02-19 05:24 PM


Well, she was only at date number two!!! ... so she did take it easy after all!

This is a great, funny, uplifting write. I don't detect any sadness.

A wonderful ballad, dear Eric!

Love,
Margherita

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2009-02-19 05:26 PM


Hey PS thanks for dropping in and having a read and giving such a nice response.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2009-02-19 05:27 PM


Bobby

I think you're right. I have it flowing quite well right now and should come together someday.

Eric

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
8 posted 2009-02-19 05:38 PM


Eric,

I might add that Mother never did any huffing, now me; that was a different matter entirely.

Please pass the bag.

Bobby

sarah 45
Member
since 2008-12-19
Posts 54

9 posted 2009-02-19 07:03 PM


It sounded like reality, put on a sad song, bring some chocolate & icecream, it's probably good that I didn't have this kinda hurt yet maybe cuz I'm still 16,but it's really as funny as it is sad 2 read this, & u know I'd love 2 hear the melody that u got on it,

so love it,

T.C

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2009-02-19 07:16 PM


Linda
Thank you for your exuberant reply. You certainly have such a wonderful attitude toward life and it's very pleasant to know you....This is meant to be a bit satirical but I'm glad you liked it.

Have a nice day.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2009-02-19 07:18 PM


ink

You may have something there. Thanks for the visit and reading this song lyric.

Eric

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
12 posted 2009-02-19 07:33 PM


Thank you, Eric!

~ Oh, yes, I knew it was a satirical write ~ and you do satire very well!
I was just joshing with you about the "sad" comment!


Linda

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
13 posted 2009-02-19 11:06 PM


Margherita
Imagine that only date two....he he thanks for your uplifting reply and for taking the time to read and comment.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2009-02-19 11:08 PM


Bobby
Not sure I understand your second reply but thanks for the second visit.

Please pass the beer.

Eric

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
15 posted 2009-02-19 11:11 PM


Just plain good writing, Eric. Love your sence of humor.
                                 Ida

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
16 posted 2009-02-20 12:02 PM


Thank you 16 year old sarah for such an insightful reply. I appreciate the comment and you taking the time to read this.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2009-02-20 12:04 PM


Thanks Linda for coming back. I surely know you are a wonderful kind person and everyone here loves you dearly.
I can see why by your open warm comments.

Take care

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2009-02-20 12:06 PM


Ida

That's very nice of you to put it that way and I thank you from my heart.

Eric

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
19 posted 2009-02-20 11:30 AM


Duct tape can fix anything....

...it is holding my car together, after all.

Nice write.

-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
20 posted 2009-02-20 11:35 AM


Thanks P

I kinda knew that but I'm not sure about relationships they are the tough ones.....(smile)....

Eric

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
21 posted 2009-02-20 11:53 AM


Eric,

When I was a kid, glue sniffing was a way to get high.  It was called "huffing".  It involved airplane glue in a paper bag.  Then the idea was to huff in the bag, and smell the glue.

I was kinda a pioneer in the practice.

It was dangerous, because if you huffed too much you would destroy your liver, and you would die a miserable death.

Bobby

[This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (02-20-2009 12:55 PM).]

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
22 posted 2009-02-20 01:32 PM


Did a bit of that myself Bobby but never heard it called that before.
Lepages airplane glue and a paper bag.....

Different area different terminology.

Thanks

Eric

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
23 posted 2009-02-20 01:39 PM


ethome - you write some excellent music. I wish we were closer together so to do some jamming, and song writing. I'm believing it would be most interesting...

BC

WTBAKELAR
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
24 posted 2009-02-20 01:50 PM


Eric, Very nice job,   Standing appause.

I like song lyrics in the broken hearted venue.  

I was trying to put music to it, but just keep seeing the elmers glue running down her chest. . .  (Disturbing)  And Momma saying: Just rub this in untill it gets all sticky, You'll forget him in no time darlin.

LOL   Thats sooooo wrong in sooooo many ways.

WT.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
25 posted 2009-02-20 02:33 PM


Bill

Thanks for the visit and the comments. Yes, we probably could have some fun putting some stuff together.


Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
26 posted 2009-02-20 02:36 PM


WT
Thanks for the visit. Yes, you're right that is poor lyrical line but it was meant to be satirical and humorous. However, it could be tweaked and made more serious.
Thanks for giving the melody and timing a try.

Eric

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
27 posted 2009-02-20 03:44 PM


ROFLMAO... I was loving it and laughing BEFORE I got to the sister part... and that was the crown jewel. LOL

Fantastic work!!!

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
28 posted 2009-02-20 04:10 PM


Boy can I see Julianna Hough (from Dancing With the Stars) singing this and doing it proud.  Very cute!

Carpe' Diem,
Mysteria

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
29 posted 2009-02-20 05:39 PM


Hey Ruth

So good to hear from you. Glad I got a laugh or two out of you on this one. That's what it was really for.

Take Care

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
30 posted 2009-02-20 05:42 PM


Sharon

Yes, that would be fun. Good to hear from you, it's been a long time.
Glad you got a chuckle out of it.

Eric

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
31 posted 2009-02-23 02:54 PM


Thought I replied to this the first time I read it.  Maybe I was laughing to hard to hit the send button.   Loved it and laughed just as hard this time and bringing it to the top where it belongs.  

pssst ... any chance of getting front row tickets when you sing this one live?

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
32 posted 2009-02-23 03:17 PM


This is my third read of this, and it's been great fun each time!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
33 posted 2009-02-23 03:38 PM


Eric....and here I thought that duct tape could fix anything.   A man told me that.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
34 posted 2009-02-23 04:04 PM


Mark
Thanks for the read and the visit. Happy you dropped in again.

Eric

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

35 posted 2009-02-23 11:30 PM


I don't know how this one escaped me...I wish I was a record producer...I would have passed on the Everly brothers and signed you in a heart beat.     Thoroughly enjoyed!
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
36 posted 2009-02-24 12:41 PM


<3

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
37 posted 2009-02-24 02:39 AM


Midnite

You're so very kind to keep coming back for a read and a chuckle.
Thanks very much

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
38 posted 2009-02-24 02:41 AM


LOL! Martie
It will fix everything except a broken heart. So I've been told, never tried it myself.
Beware of men telling you things....He He..
Thanks for the visit and the read.

Eric

Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501

39 posted 2009-02-24 12:15 PM


Eric, another delightful read, I wished I could hear it sung. Many great lines, these are my favourite:

When your heart goes humpty-dumpty,
you're left feeling mighty rough.

Have a marvelous day! Mark

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
40 posted 2009-02-24 12:32 PM


Steaven
Thanks for the Everly Bros comment. I don't think you would have but I sure appreciate your fine comments.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
41 posted 2009-02-24 12:34 PM


Juju
I thank you for dropping in and reading this piece.

Eric

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