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Open Poetry #44
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adamjames72
New Member
since 2009-02-17
Posts 6


0 posted 2009-02-17 08:21 PM



Warning:  written while I was paying attention to class today, and is in a style that I have never tried before.. it's a bit rough, but I like the first idea.

Please let me know of any edits you suggest

My curse (needs better title)

We get in the car, going wherever life takes us
She wraps her hands in mine, it fills me with sorrow
I don't stop her, she can hold them if she must
She can have them right now, but only to borrow

She touches me more, gets even closer
She gives me a kiss, her lips on mine
This only serves to bolster
The Dislike of crossing this line

She asks if I am starting to love her
I have no answer for that, nothing to say
I tell her I need more time to mature
Truth is, my heart is not mine to give to give to whom I may

Nothing that she does even compares
To the person about whom I must tell lies
I am led to be full of despair
For every time I see anothers face, I only see her eyes

Take my hand, I'll hold it back
But the whole time I'll be thinking of another
For anyone but her, my feelings lack
This is my curse, my love for her I cannot smother

© Copyright 2009 adamjames72 - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2009-02-17 08:23 PM


maybe I'm reading wrong but if you have to lie, it's done for.

Be up front always

honesty is the best policy always

the poem is good but a heart not yours to give is bad

adamjames72
New Member
since 2009-02-17
Posts 6

2 posted 2009-02-17 08:25 PM


I thought I was having a hard time conveying my message.. hmmm have to rewrite

Essentially, my heart is still with a past lover, and I can't give my love to a new person...

does that make sense?

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2009-02-17 08:28 PM


Adam, for sure it makes sense to me...read my poems and you'll see that I have been in love with a married man myself...and really until you let go of the love you don't have right now for whatever reason, you will never be able to move on.

I hear you totally and relate well. My love is for another man when I have just married a man January 17th and it's not fair for him or me either.

No re-write...I get the message. But it's sad the same. Sad stuff makes for good poetry! Write on!


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2009-02-17 08:30 PM


and welcome to PIP! We are looking forward to reading more!!!
adamjames72
New Member
since 2009-02-17
Posts 6

5 posted 2009-02-17 08:39 PM


I will have to go take a glance at your poems.

It is sad, it's a tragic thing, it's just not good in any way.  I'm glad you understood it, that's a relief for me, I was racking my mind trying to find something to do.

And thanks for the welcome : )

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2009-02-17 09:10 PM


no, nothing to do here...great poem!!! Keep on writing about this love you have and the love you can't have!


Good stuff!

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

7 posted 2009-02-23 10:47 PM


adam,

first, welcome to PiP...next...this is a very powerful write, these words are especially poignant:

"every time I see anothers [sic] face, I only see her eyes"

...while I would never wish your dilemma (curse) on others, no doubt there are others who have lived through your same scenario...good write...

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