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Open Poetry #44
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2009-02-16 12:07 PM



it was a funny kind of afternoon driveway
you and I were both children in our minds
in older cars not moving too fast
but fast enough that crashing into each other
would have bent places into always there afters

I remember the sun on your windshild smile
how your eyes were brand new chrome want to
and your lips when they moved around words
made me want to polish them with kiss cloths
and then park them in my own no car garage

you said I was a safe road for your wheels
and you liked bumping into my curbs too
just to know I had some boundries here and there
and I would feel you often if you went too fast
or even too slowly when I touched your curves

we double parked for what could have been hours
but we didn't go anywhere special
except over familiar ground with our boots on
just enjoying the warm speed limit sighs
that aroused without arrows or yeilding

except to the traffic of our hands during dreams


______________

daark  (forbidden)

© Copyright 2009 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-02-16 12:18 PM


quote:
but fast enough that crashing into each other
would have bent places into always there afters




Your "forbidden" is pure delight! You have such a unique, special way to convey emotions, that besides in your memories, they will also stay with the reader.

To cherish.

Love,
Margherita


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2009-02-16 01:19 PM


ms mar...thanks special lady!!
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2009-02-16 03:08 PM


I have a two car garage.

You know how I feel about your poetry.  Well, each one I read just makes the feeling stronger.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2009-02-16 03:12 PM


ms ali-san...but how many cars do you have in there now?  thanks babe
Boshii2
Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146

5 posted 2009-02-17 02:55 AM


I do love your poetry too.
My chrome teeth smiled as I sat,once again, doubled parked up One Tree Hill,playing aircraft and hangers and making regretable dents in my thereafters. Boshii2

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2009-02-17 07:33 AM


boshii, thank you for the read and reflection from your hilltop
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
7 posted 2009-02-17 06:17 PM


When I glance at the title, I always see --

children of older cats

do you think I might need to be wearing my glasses?

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2009-02-17 08:22 PM


you always get such good 'mileage' from you metaphors, and this one is no exception...loved this line:

"made me want to polish them with kiss cloths"

...but all was good...again...

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2009-02-18 07:52 AM


ms ali-san..glasses might be good, we can discuss other wardrobe options too..(grin)


_______________

steavenr, thanks guy

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2009-02-20 03:08 PM


you and I were both children in our minds
in older cars not moving too fast
but fast enough that crashing into each other
would have bent places into always there afters

Reading your work, I understand how important "a turn of phrase" really is... and applaud your expertise! *S* Superb!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
11 posted 2009-02-20 04:39 PM


ms suthern..thank you for turning the words up and looking under
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

12 posted 2009-02-20 08:47 PM


I love this!!


Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
13 posted 2009-02-20 09:07 PM


Yo Dark Stranger,

This has very clever lines that work well for me.

Bobby

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2009-02-21 05:14 AM


You come up with some of the best titles then follow them with a delight of metaphors etc.

Love those unique perspectives.

Eric

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
15 posted 2009-02-21 06:14 AM


Copper, thanks so much


_____________

BJ, thanks amigo


_________________

Eric, thanks guy, I appreciate your reviews

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
16 posted 2009-02-22 12:38 PM


I had something like this once but it was in the rain....maybe that's why I like the rain so much? ahhha I bet it's a nice part of why


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
17 posted 2009-02-22 06:59 AM


ms suesea...the rain is my favorite place
to spend time...perhaps it was the rain..thanks babe

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2009-02-22 11:26 AM


enjoyed reading you

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
19 posted 2009-02-22 11:57 AM


good read
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
20 posted 2009-02-22 01:58 PM


PS...thanks Dixie...


___________

ms Van..thanks lady

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