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Open Poetry #44
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

0 posted 2009-02-12 03:43 PM


Like a devoted singer clings to rhyme,
with words as precious as the spice of youth,
my love, made sure by feelings divine,
lives within the mercy of the warmth of you
whether I'm thoughtless, loving, or stained, or clean,
or searching my own faults, or none, or more,
regardless of the flight of past scenes    
I give my heart invested in your worth.
So since I am not dead, sick, nor denied
such is this virtue where my substance is.
Might I then cry indebted while alive
to be a part of your uncommon gift.
So what is left, is left for you to see
This love I live, much more for you than me.
.
.
.
.
.

© Copyright 2009 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2009-02-12 03:50 PM


Yo Eric,

This is a lovely write.  You might think to throw in a few strophe breaks.

But then it might make a very good song all in one piece.

Bobby

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2009-02-12 05:24 PM


This is very cute, dear Eric, it seems to me that you have invested your love well.

Love,
Margherita

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2009-02-12 07:17 PM


ethome - I sense deep caring in this write. Well done...

BC

Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England
4 posted 2009-02-12 07:27 PM


A lovely write Ethome.

Love is about the one we love, not ourselves. You captured that perfectly.

Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told.

Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501

5 posted 2009-02-12 08:09 PM


Eric, this is a beautiful piece spiced with some interesting lists. Mark
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2009-02-12 08:31 PM


What's left...is a lovely expression of real love. An enjoyable read, Eric.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2009-02-13 02:16 AM


Hey Bobby
Thanks for dropping by.
This is simply a sonnet not a song in this case and there is some punctuation there it's just hard to see in this format.

I appreciate the read and the response.

Eric

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2009-02-13 10:44 AM


Beautiful work! *S* I especially like the closing couplet! *S*
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
9 posted 2009-02-13 02:19 PM


beautiful and sincere homage, a poignant poem.

yann

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2009-02-13 02:47 PM


Eric, you True-ly summed up self-less love perfectly with your closing line ~

"This love I live, much more for you than me."

May your Valentine's Day be a joyful one!

Linda


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2009-02-14 03:06 PM


Margherita
I thank you for the read and the feelings expressed.
Peace to you and yours

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2009-02-14 03:07 PM


Bill

Thanks for the deep caring expression and for the visit.

Take care

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
13 posted 2009-02-14 03:09 PM


Thank you Suncleaver. Yes, you're right, Love is about the one we love, not ourselves
I appreciate that comment.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2009-02-14 03:10 PM


Marc

Thanks for the beautiful piece words I surely do appreciate it.

Eric

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
15 posted 2009-02-14 03:11 PM


Thank you Midnite for the kind words and the visit.

Eric

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