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Open Poetry #44
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2009-02-06 07:45 AM



I listened to the rain for hours
wondering if you were also
and if that last kiss was one too many
to make you ever want another
of maybe many several over time

the gentleman of me was nervous
about saying goodbye with just glances
and giving you room to step outside
of the circle of our palms
but then I reloved your freedom

and how you were just as secret then
the very first time touching
when you didn't know you wore my eyes
of the boy man of my thinking
thinking you were better being forbidden

we spoke of funny umbrellas spinning
and it was the reason for my touch
seeing how it seemed to fly away so soon
like a butterfly escaping her hands
and I had to know if you were real first

before I just listened to the rain again
_________________


daark (circle of palms)

© Copyright 2009 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2009-02-06 09:40 AM


Ok, you got both sighs and chills from this one...





Lovely, D.

Martie
Moderator
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2009-02-06 11:02 AM


DS...The rain sang to me all night long, in between dreams.  It was lovely as is your poem.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2009-02-06 03:32 PM


ms sun, thanks lady friend


_______________

ms martie, thank you little neighbor, yes it did play loudly didn't it.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2009-02-06 06:31 PM


Wonderful deep emotions captured in fine poetic fashion.
Superb writing!

Eric

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2009-02-07 04:53 AM


Listening to the rain, in stillness of mind, has inspired you to write a masterpiece once again, dear D..

With each drop of rain
echoing within your mind
new words start to dance


Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
6 posted 2009-02-07 06:52 AM


eric...humble thanks sir


_____________

ms mar, thanks special lady for the touch

Dark Star
Member
since 2008-02-20
Posts 392
Lost in your eyes
7 posted 2009-02-07 08:58 PM


nice

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2009-02-07 09:01 PM


thanx
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
9 posted 2009-02-07 09:16 PM


Yo Dark Stranger,

There's very good thinking behind this poem.  I like it.

Bobby

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2009-02-10 12:07 PM


How many ways can I say "Beautiful"?  The rain sounds incredible when you bring it to a poem.

A

Blood.Wolf
Member
since 2009-02-09
Posts 54
GA, USA
11 posted 2009-02-10 12:11 PM


You managed to make perhaps the most mundane into the most beautiful.  'grats!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

12 posted 2009-02-10 05:44 AM


The rain is a soothing, calming voice that lulls me into a feeling of peace D.

SIGH  Ya done good with this one DarkDaddy.  Hugs n luv, ~D

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
13 posted 2009-02-10 06:08 AM


*sigh* from down under too.. lovely writing Mr Daark..

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
14 posted 2009-02-10 07:31 AM


bobbyJ..thanks amigo

_________________

ms ali-san, thank you babe for the eyes

_______________

blood.W thank you for the read and comment

_______________

ms gs, thank you Donna


__________________

ms R&B, thanks lady friend from undertown

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
15 posted 2009-02-10 01:53 PM


your palms are circling my umbreallas
and im full of dark rain waiting for you
to erupt me

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2009-02-12 12:04 PM


Wow, this is soooo good, DS.
I was born on a rainy, and have always loved the rain. But your poem was a wonderful peak into the most tender side of caring, of accepting the space and freedom of someone who apparently stole both eyes and heart.
Betcha she had long legs.
I'll be keeping this one, mon ami.
Kacy,  

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
17 posted 2009-02-12 12:37 PM


ms inky..thanks lady friend..

____________

ms midnite..she does have long legs..thanks lady for the touch and smile

Indigo
Senior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 602

18 posted 2009-02-12 05:37 PM


it was the boy man
all tattoed and whiskey voiced
that brought the soft rain.

Indigo
  

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

19 posted 2009-02-12 11:15 PM


I listen to the rain
she is always there

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
20 posted 2009-02-13 06:08 AM


ms indi..yes the man boy
always with storms in his eyes
and she only danced his fences  


____________


bro Krawdad..thanks amigo

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana
21 posted 2009-02-13 10:53 AM


You just keep getting better and better. *S* I love this tender beauty!
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
22 posted 2009-02-13 11:26 AM


ms suther..thanks lady!!  you bless me with those glances
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

23 posted 2009-02-13 02:14 PM


"if that last kiss was one too many
to make you ever want another
of maybe many several over time"

I love the dilemma that this presents...as captivating as the rest of the write...very enjoyable read

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
24 posted 2009-02-13 02:27 PM


thanks guy!!  I always appreciate your views
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
25 posted 2009-02-13 09:54 PM


On a re-read
after a night ago
of hailrains
and hailmarys

and subsequent
dreams
this became even more
a milestone in your
roadways.

Yes, worthy of more
than two rereads
or retreads
whichever way
you travel.

Yes?


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
26 posted 2009-02-14 06:25 AM


ms sun...you bring a morning to each of my moments...thank you
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