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Open Poetry #44
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I Get Like This
| Open Poetry #44 |
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I Get Like This |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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Autumn leaves cover the lawn A naked maple's clothes They rustle in the breeze at dawn Warning of the coming cold Just like them our time had come To drop the romance we'd outgrown (build) This ol house became our first care Painting rooms making repairs Key's still there under the mat Near the porch chairs where we sat Chorus: But I get like this sometimes Thinking bout you fills my mind Your black hair and your red lips The scent of you when we kissed Your fancy soaps in the shower Making love, talking for hours Kitchen looks so bare at breakfast Eatin toast makes a lonely crunch A voiceless time but who'd guess We'd grow tired of being one And we tried hard to make the best Of what was left of our lost love (build 2) Last year we vacationed camping Sang songs by the fire beautifully But the whole thing left us hanging Without love, just friends in need Chorus: But I get like this sometimes Thinking bout you fills my mind Your black hair and your red lips The scent of you when we kissed Your fancy soaps in the shower Making love, talking for hours Wind chimes ring on the patio Your image drifts out of sight Took the long way but now we know Sometimes lovers aren't for life Birds in the feeder come and go And I feel alone but I'm alright (build 3) I'll miss all the holidays But who knew when we started Years later we would change And fate would find us parted Chorus: But I get like this sometimes Thinking bout you fills my mind Your black hair and your red lips The scent of you when we kissed Your fancy soaps in the shower Making love, talking for hours |
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| © Copyright 2009 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
(: -Juju |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Eric, I think this would make for a good song. It works well. Bobby |
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scorsese101 New Member
since 2009-01-28
Posts 8 |
haha your right it does work as a good song, just sang it working out how it would go haha |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
A vivid rendition, you really seize the moments well. I can feel the place, and all the sensorial experience it affords to one who's there. An engaging piece. I believe you play the guitar, have you written this as a song? Mark |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Such lonliness this conveys...makes the reader weep for you...kat |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hi juju great to meet you and thanks for dropping in. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Bobby Yeah it sings well. I'm working on it with A7th in the fifth fret with D7th E7th and some A minor 7th on the builds......It's coming but I have to be happy with it as it's an emotional piece... Thanks for the comment Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
scorsese Thanks for the friendly ha ha's and for the visit and the positive input. Hope it sang well for you.....(smile).... Eric |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Reminiscences lovely and bittersweet. A vividly gorgeous lyrical write... Karen |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Marc So glad you could feel the piece as it will eventually become a song. Takes some time to develop a GOOD melody for it and tweak a few things. Eric |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
ethome - you do write some very nice songs. BC |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Touching poem (or song) either way it is a good write. Ida |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Much enjoyed Eric, keep up the good work, You wrote it well. Lindsay |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hi Kat Happy to have put that lonliness across to you and thanks for the kind words. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Karen Thank you for those kind positive comments they're much appreciated. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Bill I try my best to write some lyrical life situations that people can relate to. Certainly am glad you dropped in to have a read and comment. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Ida & Lindsay I thnank you so much for the kind replies and positive input. Eric |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Wind chimes ring on the patio Your image drifts out of sight Took the long way but now we know Sometimes lovers aren't for life Birds in the feeder come and go And I feel alone but I'm alright" I'm going to be singing this part in my head all day now  loved this. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you SEA glad you could drop in and read this. Eric |
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
the sound of the toast lonely crunching did it for me |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Yes indeed an "emotional piece". Lovely and I hope to hear it sung one day soon. latearrival |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The emotion comes through well, Ethome. Hopefully we'll all hear it put to music someday soon!  |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
I'd listen to it. Nice work. -P Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Bosh for crunching that toast with me..... Thanks Late for the read and the kind comments I sure appreciate it. Karilea I thank you for the visit and hope I will get to music someday soon. Take care. Hey V-M thanks for the visit and for the promise of a future listen, much appreciated! Eric |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sometimes lovers aren't for life Birds in the feeder come and go And I feel alone but I'm alright I get like this sometimes, too. *S* But I'd rather have the ache of bittersweet memories than the hatred that seems to be the fate of so many no-longer-couples. Excellent work! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Suthern I appreciate those words of truth you write. I appreciate your kind words on this write too. Eric |
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