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Passions in Poetry

Color Me All Over Your Body.

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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


0 posted 01-29-2009 05:22 PM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for viking_metal

We sat in a circle,
spoke about what we thought
of each other.
I concentrated on you,
starlit girl in the corner.
You concentrated on your paper,
I guess that's fair,
I'm not beautiful.

I said you were,
well,
I stuttered.
I can't remember what I said,
but I was looking right at you.
You said if I were a crayon,
I'd be forest green.

_____________________________________
The Sadie Series.
I couldn't help it: But I promise that Sadie's series is fin, at least as it's own entity.


-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

[This message has been edited by viking_metal (01-31-2009 07:57 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 01-25-2008
Posts 8544
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


1 posted 01-29-2009 05:38 PM       View Profile for Robert E. Jordan   Email Robert E. Jordan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Robert E. Jordan

Yo Paul,

This has a great last line.

I like the title a lot too.

Good write.

Bobby
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


2 posted 01-30-2009 12:03 AM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Thanks a lot Bobby- Your opinion means a lot to me.

-P
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


3 posted 01-30-2009 12:24 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Well that was a great package of poetry. Good thing there was room for one more in the series. I really like this.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


4 posted 01-30-2009 01:48 AM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Thanks Larry- good to have a new reader.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


5 posted 01-30-2009 03:43 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Real good work....You get a lot across with these concise love poems.....

Eric
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


6 posted 01-30-2009 10:41 AM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Thanks Ethome. I like to think so as well.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 06-28-2005
Posts 2181
Oregon


7 posted 01-30-2009 12:50 PM       View Profile for Klassy Lassy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Klassy Lassy

Forest green, oh, solid, earthy green that is perch and lift off beneath stars and bluebird wings...  

sparkling write!
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


8 posted 01-30-2009 01:04 PM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Thank you very much.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 07-11-2000
Posts 11011
highways, & byways, for now


9 posted 01-30-2009 07:06 PM       View Profile for Bill Charles   Email Bill Charles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bill Charles

viking_metal - what a great touching romantic write, liked this one a lot...

BC
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


10 posted 01-31-2009 07:56 PM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Thank you sir! I'm glad you thought so.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Boshii2
Member
since 02-01-2009
Posts 146


11 posted 02-03-2009 07:41 PM       View Profile for Boshii2   Email Boshii2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Boshii2

a melted green crayon
a beautiful melted green crayon.
you and your poetry are like a welcome breath of warmed air of the Wadi Rum.
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


12 posted 02-04-2009 12:33 AM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Thanks a lot Boshii- You're from Jordan? Cool, man. Real cool!

-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 06-08-2009
Posts 1126
nowhere and everywhere


13 posted 06-09-2009 06:35 PM       View Profile for brneyedgrly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brneyedgrly

you are amazing...question:  do you ever share these poems with the women who inspire them?  i would totally melt if I was immortalized in your prose  : )  

~I am the keeper of what he cast off~

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 02-02-2007
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.


14 posted 06-15-2009 11:30 PM       View Profile for viking_metal   Email viking_metal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for viking_metal

Actually, I gave her the entire series.

She told me she was seeing someone else, "sort of."


-P

Everyone deserves to be loved, even you.

 
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