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Open Poetry #44
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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2009-01-29 01:29 PM


And as the clouds came down to land
smoke from the human killing fields
rose up to greater heights
than ere was known before
and there followed then a mingling
and a conspiratorial chat
between the two perceived
contrasting forces.

But they joined and spoke of this and that
and how the this of now today
will mutate into a that
of a yesterday
and though a that can make a this
it’s still a long gone past affair
superseded quickly by
my this of now today.

And so the one who watched enthralled
threw this onto the fire
and watched it burn and rise unheard
into the ether of a that.

Finally she turned and left
the scene of mass destruction
in the know that this and that
will always join like smoke with clouds
and become as one…
complete and utter farce!

Helen / 29 January 2009

[This message has been edited by Honeybunch (01-29-2009 03:15 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Helen - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2009-01-29 02:58 PM


Yo dear Honeybunch,

You did good work on this poem.

I don't know how it works in South Africa, but here in Philadelphia you could make that one word, "superceded".  

Either usage is correct.

Love Bobby

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2009-01-29 03:14 PM


Thanks, Bobby.  I reckon the correct word for "us here people" who go by the English Oxford Dictionary would be "superseded".  It just doesn't look right to me but I always bow to a... higher authority and will now change it.  Thanks though for making me get it right.  Much appreciated.  I don't possess an "American" dictionary but I'm sure the spelling of it is correct in your part of the world.  

Helen  

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2009-01-30 07:00 PM


"But they joined and spoke of this and that
and how the this of now today
will mutate into a that
of a yesterday"

Honey, it would seem that THAT becomes THIS and THIS becomes THAT in the circle of life.

A very clever and interesting write!


Linda

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
4 posted 2009-01-30 10:10 PM



There's more to that poem than meets the eye

dear Helen, You've put a lot of thought

into those words, much enjoyed. Love

Lindsay

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2009-01-30 10:16 PM


But they joined and spoke of this and that
and how the this of now today
will mutate into a that
of a yesterday
and though a that can make a this
it’s still a long gone past affair
superseded quickly by
my this of now today.


I just love that reasoning....Good one!

Eric

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