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Passions in Poetry

An Apple That Taste like Watermelon

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ken206573
Member
since 10-14-2008
Posts 475


0 posted 01-27-2009 05:15 PM       View Profile for ken206573   Email ken206573   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for ken206573


I bite into an apple,
what's to believe,
it taste like watermelon
ever so sweet.
reminds me of those
long youthful times
when life was sweet
and tasteful.
days when i knew what fun
was,
and when time truly stood still.
especailly when it came to family,
now, now
it's only a memory.
an memory within an apple,
with it's taste of watermelon.
(In all honesty, this is actually based on me eating an apple during lunch hour. In which it really did taste like an watermelon.)


© Copyright 2009 ken206573 - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 01-25-2008
Posts 8544
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


1 posted 01-27-2009 06:55 PM       View Profile for Robert E. Jordan   Email Robert E. Jordan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Robert E. Jordan

Yo Ken206573,

The thought is there.  It needs a little work with capitalization, and punctuation.

Bobby
Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 12-07-2008
Posts 500


2 posted 01-27-2009 10:39 PM       View Profile for Marc-Andre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marc-Andre

Perhaps it's just me but I've got a hard time imagining the apple tasting like a watermelon. Perhaps,"I wished it were a watermelon" would be more effective, also for what is to follow. I like that you add sensuality to your write, smell and taste engage and impress both the reader's mind and body. Mark
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


3 posted 01-27-2009 11:33 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Well, now you've whetted my appetite for both an apple and a slice of watermelon! Correstion, SLICES of watermelon!

This was a very sweet poem! ~ Literally and figuratively! lol


Earth Angel
ken206573
Member
since 10-14-2008
Posts 475


4 posted 01-28-2009 05:09 PM       View Profile for ken206573   Email ken206573   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ken206573

Bobby once again you see my flaw. I forgot, since I was in a hurry to get back to class. Thank you for your comment.

ken206573
Member
since 10-14-2008
Posts 475


5 posted 01-28-2009 05:13 PM       View Profile for ken206573   Email ken206573   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ken206573

I couldn't believe it myself. Yet the apple really did taste like a watermelon. Thank you for the comment and your thought. Hope to here your poems soon Mark.
ken206573
Member
since 10-14-2008
Posts 475


6 posted 01-28-2009 05:17 PM       View Profile for ken206573   Email ken206573   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ken206573

I'm glad you enjoyed a slice of my sweet poem. Thank you very much

Laverne Pacquire
Member
since 11-15-2009
Posts 95


7 posted 11-21-2009 05:59 PM       View Profile for Laverne Pacquire   Email Laverne Pacquire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Laverne Pacquire

enjoyable read.  I love apples and watermelons
 
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