navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » open and one done
Open Poetry #44
Post A Reply Post New Topic open and one done Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2009-01-20 08:25 AM



I have watched her eyes in the random
those glances she does when angry
moving her clouds around in a closet sky

like she was sorting for throw aways
and wished my freedom was hanging too
within her grasp but out of her reach

but instead the storms of another highway
have bowed my heart full of metal arrows
that leave sparks on the sides of her curves

when jaunty copper leans bare her bosom
and tears my leathering in switchback blades
that click metallic moans before they throttle

threading dreaded love from a widow's needle
________________


daark (owg-ish for the Hiway 1)

© Copyright 2009 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2009-01-20 09:41 AM


the whole thing moves me
but i think
this is my favorite part
smooches


"moving her clouds around in a closet sky

like she was sorting for throw aways
and wished my freedom was hanging too
within her grasp but out of her reach"

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2009-01-20 10:11 AM


ms slick..

you would like her..her paint is almost
the color of your hair..thanks ms

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2009-01-20 07:07 PM


quote:
when jaunty copper leans bare her bosom
and tears my leathering in switchback blades
that click metallic moans before they throttle

threading dreaded love from a widow's needle



I have learned to interprete your highway language too, I think. And it is pure high level poetry. Quite simply amazing.

Love,
Margherita

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2009-01-20 08:21 PM


it is always difficult to single out one phrase in your writes (they are ALL so good), but I'll bite:

"within her grasp but out of her reach"

...just love this...stretches the mind

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2009-01-21 06:39 AM


ms mar, thanks lady friend for your lovely touch

________________


steavenr..thanks amigo...you did select the core of the poem..

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
6 posted 2009-01-22 12:01 PM


Enjoyed the Write Dark!


ARCTIC WIND

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2009-01-22 12:10 PM


thanks AW
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2009-01-23 04:21 PM


I like this very much! *S* I read it several times, trying to pick my favorite part... but I couldn't leave anything out! *S*
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
9 posted 2009-01-24 10:36 AM


thanks suthern...am glad you kept it all...
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2009-02-08 01:06 AM


She must be a beauty to share such freedom with you and inspire the words that you share.

A

americangothic
Junior Member
since 2008-11-11
Posts 45

11 posted 2009-02-08 02:54 AM


great flow and imagery
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2009-02-08 07:19 AM


ms ali-san, thanks so much babe for the touch

_____________


americanG, thanks for the read

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » open and one done

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary